Eventually...

Zeba - it's a nice name

2011-11-05T23:33:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum everyone

I had an epiphany recently to open a small business in estate planning, focusing on the Muslim market. I will call it Zeba.

So why I want to open this company? I think my entrepreneur spirit has awoken.

I asked myself why not open a business that is very similar to what I'm doing now as a consultant or marketeer or whatever you want to call it. Financial planning is my line even though I skew more towards insurance expertise. So I finally narrow it down to estate planning.

As a Muslim, I'm sure most of us have that inner calling to dakwah. To me in a simple sentence it means to call your fellow Muslims to the religion of Allah and remind my own Muslim self to live by exemplary of Prophet Muhammad.

Since I am a practical person, the best I can commit to dakwah is by doing a simple enough act in which I'm good at.

I hope my family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances will find this news beneficial. It is my honour to be appointed as your trusted Islamic Estate Planner consultant.

For now I will do this part time and all appointments will be on the weekends. If you don't have my number, do send me an email at ruzlina[at]gmail[dot]com to express your interest.

I will put out a special website on this soon. Everything is in good progress.

Insyaallah.

Green Leaf

2011-07-24T22:51:00.001+08:00

It's unbelievable that I've been working for a good 5 years and 10 months. So much have I gained and experienced. Looking back, I was a young leaf. Green with excitement. Ready for anything.

Once you learn the business enough, it is time to move on. I want to be a young leaf once more. Ever eager to learn new things, swim in new environment.

Tomorrow (hopefully) I will put my stamp down. Thank you for all the fun times! Orange will always be a colour in my wardrobe.

Wellness Challenge - Post 5 - The Checklist

2010-08-15T17:35:00.002+08:00

To meet my goals, I need to make a checklist of things I need to do:

1) Food journal
2) Start exercise routine
3) The No-No-Food checklist
4) Award for attaining goal in No-No-Food

I wish to loose 1 pound per week. So by 1st October 2010, my weight should be at 120 kgs (265 pounds / 8 pounds lesser).

Wellness Challenge - Post 4 - What is Calories?

2010-08-15T16:52:00.003+08:00

This is straight from a website : http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/reference_calorie.asp

I love this article because it is clear and tells you exactly what you need to know about calories and how to help you loose the pounds. I put here the highlights of the article.

The calorie is a measure of energy available to the body. When you eat food, the number of calories it contains is actually the amount of energy units the food provides the body. The calorie is also the measure of energy that your body uses. Your body uses calories for many functions, such as breathing, pumping blood, resting, sitting, working, and exercising. So the calorie is used to measure both the amount of energy contained in foods, as well as the amount of energy your body uses.

The difference between the two is the Calorie Equation. When you eat more calories than you use, the rest is stored as fat and you gain weight. To lose weight, you simply need to use more calories than you eat so your body is free to call upon other energy sources – such as stored fat.

The above statement is very crucial to loosing weight. I need to use more calories.

Where Do Calories Come From? There are six classes of nutrients: carbohydrate, protein, fat, vitamins, minerals, and water. Of these six classes of nutrients, only 3 provide calories or energy for the body: carbohydrate, protein and fat:

1 gram of carbohydrate = 4 calories
1 gram of protein = 4 calories
1 gram of fat = 9 calories

I didn't know that! Ok... now I really need to lay off butter.

Balancing the calories you take in with those you put out is the safest, healthiest way to control your weight – for the next two weeks, or the next 20 years. It takes about 3500 calories to make one pound of fat (neat info). So to lose one pound, you can:

For example, to lose one pound in a week, you could simple create a calorie deficit of 500 per day (7x500 = 3500). That could be as simple as cutting out one donut (280 calories) and jogging for 25 minutes (240 calories) each day.

I like the comparison :)

Starvation Mode. There is a common misperception that to lose weight, the lower the calories, the better. Ironically, the key may be eating more calories. You can actually hurt your body's ability to lose weight by going too low. Here's why. The body has a protective mechanism. When calories drop too low (we recommend a minimum of 1,200 for women and 1,500 for men) the body reacts as if it is starving and tries to conserve energy. It will lower your metabolism, conserve calories and fat, and you will not burn calories as quickly. This results in a slower weight loss or even no weight loss. This is what's know as "Starvation Mode."

This is why sudden less food intake can be damaging to your physical and emotional state. We need to cut the "bad" food slowly. Otherwise body thinks I have moved out to a remote place with no fast food chains around.

When calorie intake falls below 1,200 to 1,500 calories a day, it is also extremely difficult to follow a balanced diet and obtain all the nutrients that are needed by the body to stay strong and energetic and prevent disease. These very low calorie intakes can also lead to other health problems such as eating disorders, gout, gallstones, and heart complications. For these reasons, we strongly suggests not going below 1,200 calories daily for women and 1,500 calories daily for men.

Muscle Power. Fat tissue lowers the rate at which one burns calories, because fat tissue requires less oxygen and is very inactive. On the other hand, muscle is a more physically and metabolically active tissue. It therefore burns more calories than fat. Through exercise, especially strength and resistance exercise, you can decrease the amount of fat in your body and increase the amount of muscle. This will then help you burn more calories each and every day, even when you’re not exercising.

Muscle also weighs more than fat. Near the beginning of your program, you may gain some weight after strength exercising. This is perfectly normal. As the composition of your body changes from fat to muscle, the muscle will help burn off that remaining fat at a faster rate, uncovering your lean, fit muscles.

Muscle is good. You will look lean :) thus, better fit your dream outfit!

On The Dreaded Plateau? Hitting a plateau during a weight loss program is normal (though it can still be frustrating). Your body requires fewer calories to function as your weight decreases. It needs time to adjust to all the healthy changes that are occurring due to the weight loss. So continuing to follow the same eating and exercise patterns won’t work forever.

Everyone’s body will adjust differently. To jump-start your metabolism and break out of the plateau, you may need to select a different form of exercise to stimulate other muscle groups to become more active. Do not become discouraged; this may take several weeks or months. Stay focused on all the positive things you have accomplished. Your goal during plateaus is to try not to gain any pounds back. Get energized with a brisk walk. Add on a little jogging or running. Try a new piece of equipment. Test out a strength training routine. Try a new activity like dancing, rollerblading, or cross-country skiing. Start taking the stairs at home and work.

I'm worried about the plateau stage. I had this before and I actually gain more weight because I gave up my routine. Variety is key. I need my friends to keep me motivated.

Wellness Challenge - Post 3 - Introduction to BMR

2010-08-15T16:32:00.004+08:00

Reality Check: how much calories does my body needs to do normal function stuff?

Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is the amount of energy our body needs to function at rest mode. Generally, a lady like me has a lower BMR than gentleman my age. So that means my body need less calories to function normally.

Here is Harris-Benedict formula to calculate BMR:
Adult male: 66 + (6.3 x body weight in lbs.) + (12.9 x height in inches) - (6.8 x age in years)
Adult female: 655 + (4.3 x weight in lbs.) + (4.7 x height in inches) - (4.7 x age in years)

My BMR is = 655 + (4.3 x 273) + (4.7 x 64) - (4.7 x 28) = 1,998 calories

To count total calories you need in a day = BMR + physical activities + thermic effect of food (10% of your calories)

Wellness Challenge - Post 2 - Me 101

2010-08-15T16:15:00.002+08:00

Reality check: what's your weight?

I don't remember the exact date when I did the check up. But here is the result.

Age: 28 (actually its 27 yrs 8 months)
Height: 163 cm (5feet 4 inches / 64 inches)
Weight: 124 kg (273 pounds)
BMI: 47 = extremely obese

My goal is to go down into obese category. Hopefully to maintain weight under 100kg.

On BMI for my height
healthy 18.5 - 24.9 (50-64kg)
overweight 25 - 29.9 (65-78kg)
obese 30 - 39.9 (79-104kg)
extremely obese 40 and over

Wellness Challenge - Post 1 - The Introduction

2010-08-15T16:09:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone.

Thanks for coming here to check out my blog. This month is the month where I started to join a competition to loose weight for the next six months. The end date is January 2011.

There are not much to write on now since I am thinking ways to make this challenge more effective towards achieving my goal.

Last night I came across a book which my sister bought on How to Detox your body. It has really good contents and I might take on the steps they thought you in there.

Next post will be Me 101.

Korean fever

2009-05-03T01:29:00.004+08:00

The last two weeks I had a very bad cough. Then came fever. But all is well now.

During those weakening moments, I stumble upon a Korean drama entitled Boys Over Flowers. I actually came to know about it over gossips during lunch at the office. The ladies were talking about how good the series were. I was bored during my mc and looking through the internet on the series.

I have nothing much to say about Boys Over Flowers. Only that
1) if you need a good cry, pls watch this
2) boy band madness is back
3) i miss singing
4) Korean variety shows rock! I had so much laugh
5) Kim Hyun Joong (^u^)~~ swoon

The Climb

2009-04-09T21:55:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs

I'm fixated on this song. Loved it.

The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah)

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah yeah ea ea)

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Whoa a oh oh

Mood for songs

2009-04-01T18:46:00.002+08:00

I am moved by songs. Nowadays I am listening to - slow pop, pop country and pop rock.

Fix You is a song that I wish I can sing, but I cannot.

Poker Face is a song that doesn't make sense to me, but I love to sing it nevertheless.

Love Story is my humming song.

Please Don't Stop The Rain is my secret fantasy song. Not a secret anymore then. And don't ask me why either.

Samskeyti (acoustic version) is a bit haunting.

Devil May Care is simply an easy listening.

Somehow, Miley Cyrus is bugging me now. I think the soundtrack on her new movie sound really good. Gosh... I wish I have the writing talent.

I've Been Diagnosed

2009-03-24T23:09:00.005+08:00

Tajuk macam horror je.

Today I am relieved to know that there is a condition to label this thing that I have. It is called White Coat Syndrome. A person who has this will suddenly be in a stressful situation when meeting a physician, especially with a specialist or when doing a medical check up. As soon as the Doctor leaves the room or vice versa, things eases to normal.

I now believe I do have this condition all this while. I am simply terrified when seeing a Doctor. It used to be very stressful when meeting with my current regular physician. But I think I got used to the Doctor over a time. In this case, it takes three years to lower the stresses away. I'm not quite calm yet though. I still have goose bumps when meeting my Doctor.

I'm not sure whether this condition is dangerous or not to my overall health. I mean, whenever I meet a Doctor, he or she will definitely think I am sick based on the reading. This upsets me. I know I am not sick. My physician can tell you that. I have taken no meds thus far and I intend to keep it that way. I will be in trouble when seeing a stranger Doctor, unfortunately. This is not good.

**************************************************************

I've been keeping my promise in living a healthier life.

I recall year after year, I kept adding more and more weight. I reached my highest scale sometime in mid 2008. I didn't think about it much then. To me, it was expected. A natural trend. Then, something suddenly came over me. I think it was about the time when I started to write again here. I'm not sure what it was. I'm just thankful that I finally stepped up and do something about it.

So from then onwards, my aim was to reduce weight every year. I'm happy to report that I am on track. I've lost about seven kilos and managed to maintain it at present time. I know it is not a lot, but this is the best weight lost in all my life.

I know I've been very slow at this. No one, except for my physician and the receptionist at my office took notice of my weight loss. I don't think my own family realise this as well. I'm so glad these two strangers has been giving me the motivation I needed to continue this strive. Personally I don't think this is an easy journey. It takes a lot of energy and discipline to do one correct thing. Definitely it is easier said than done.

I need additional boost of motivation every now and then. My motivation has always been emotional reward rather than tangible ones. In perspective, losing dress size does not motivate me as much as getting more people to look at me twice. Do you think so?

I wish I can earn income while attending a boot camp or something to make a drastic change onto myself. But then, no one is ever generous enough to sponsor such thing at a time of crisis like now. I always wish there is one out there nevertheless. I keep my hopes high.

Funny

2009-03-15T19:33:00.002+08:00

The funny thing about this feeling
Thought I was lost at the first inning
You create a mountain up the ceiling
Surprise me with a gift worth all the saying

All I want is you
You get me at hello
You so beautiful to me

Just like a star
You walk away with me
I'll be always loving you

Thank you oo my lady
I'll always have you with me
Take me on your journey

My head is in another world

2009-03-10T23:55:00.002+08:00

My head is in another world. This time Garth Nix was supplying my coke.

I've been smooching books that tells me about fantasy and mystery of the unspoken world. World that only stocks creatures who looks like people, but they weren't people. They drive cars, but not exactly a car. More like a transporter sort, where you can vaporise in naked eyes and appeared elsewhere in moments. They live in a house, but their house was more of a dungeon with mysterious one-thousand-and-one rooms. And what about those magical powers that stop evil and victor good? To me these tales are simply awesome!

Believe it or not, we all have been reading these fantasy tales since we can even start to remember. Cinderella, Peter Pan, Beauty and The Beast, Smurf (haha..), Ultraman (double haha..), just to name a few were all fantasies which were created, made and delivered to young children up to adults in capturing wild imagination and more importantly, happily ever after.

What I like most in these fantasy books were the curiosity of the main character, courage of the hero, unrelenting evil never wanting to stop, tests after so many tests, clash of characters, the beauty, the ugly, the uncharacteristics, additons to happy tales, sad tales, what-the? tales... all these lump into one creating one swirl of cloud in my head.

In my humble opinion, perhaps, the best franchise of fantasy of our time has been from The Lord of The Rings and Harry Potter trilogies. Soon maybe Twilight made it across as a successful one. I'm just glad that these books are within my reach. Otherwise I wouldn't be talking about it here.

I believe, it is time to have a rest on fantasy.

I've been wanting to read some historical and maybe biographical next. Any suggestions? Make sure they are cheap to purchase, better yet borrowed or given away. Let me know.

I love you, Jason Mraz!

2009-03-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

4) to watch Jason Mraz in concert - done~!

Finally, my dream came true! I saw Jason Mraz live. I seriously love him.

So I and my sister went to Stadium Negara after Asar - about 5.45pm - and head out to find a parking spot on Jalan Hang Jebat. By 6.10pm, we were already there. Nasib baik tak jem huru hara like yesterday. Luckily there was a man who was just going out from a spot. Yeay! Free parking!

Because I bought the tickets on the phone, I needed to collect the tickets at the gate. The line wasn't long. It took about less than 15 minutes to queue. My tickets said I bought RM88 tix that seats on R1. I was cuak jugak coz takut that the seat area would be so far. I've never been to this venue before (I lied, I did came here when I was in elementary. I think I was representing my school for a pertandingan Khat peringkat KL). I cannot remember the seating area. Hopefully not too far from the stage.

To fill the void, we went to Berjaya Times Square for dinner. Tak sure nak makan apa. Suddenly, after turun monorail, we saw Papa John's banner. Terpengaruh, we went ahead to try out this new outlet. I macam excited sebab it brought back some memories of Bloomington. On the way there, we saw something more exciting. Krispy Kreme is opening soon!! hahaha... giler menarik.

Once seated at Papa John's, we ordered two 6" pizzas (small pizza that cuts to four pieces) and drinks. I think we ordered something called Meat Lover (ye ke?) and Papa's Chicken (eh, betul ke?). The cool thing was we were served the jalapeno jeruk and butter garlic dip which were yummy. You get the same condiments as ordering at the States. The verdict on the pizza? Meat Lover: NO, and Papa's Chicken: OK, not yummy though. To me, the dough was very much like Pizza Hut. I don't like it very much. I had higher hopes for a delicious pizza meal.

By 7.20pm, we make our move to the mosque on Hang Tuah for maghrib prayer. Wow, this mosque was beautiful!!! I love the small white flowers in the gardens. Felt like magic.

By 8.00pm, we were already in the Stadium. Excited giler, amik gambar semua and I tegur this one girl who sat next to me and asked her if I can contact her later to get few shots and videos on her camera. haha... giler terkejut that girl seeing me so direct. I siap asked her for her email and number without asking her whether it is okay. haha... nasib baik it was not a false info. Otherwise I know I was a little bit kukcoo at that point of time.

Like expected, the concert only starts at 8.30pm. Anyway, it was awesome! I was giddy all the way. Seeing Jason live was a surreal experience. Macam tak caya je he was there, standing in the middle of the stage, singing all my favourite songs.

I memang expect Jason would be superb in singing live. So my money was worth every penny. Syok! I wish I can share with you some videos. Tapi malangnya the quality of the sound was very bad on my cell phone (akibat lupa bawak digital camera). Maybe later I'll put some on FB. You might want to check it out.

One of my wish was to sing Lucky with Jason. But I think this can just be angan-angan. haha... if dapat jadi realiti, memang gumbira sungguh. I know he will sing this song with a lady at the concert. Tapi siapa ha? So far, the clips that I saw in Youtube, the ladies were really strong singers. Good la... enjoy. Tiba-tiba tonight, an unknown lady was up-stage. Dah la MIA at the second verse. We all dah rasa syok je bila boleh nanyi part tu. When she joined in the third verse, semua orang kat stadium jadi pelik. We all anonymously nak je boo this lady. Dah la lambat masuk, tak sedap pulak tu. Jason nampak nervous je. Anyway, we again anonymously rasa tak patut nak boo, suddenly the mood changed and we all cheered. Not to the lady anyway.

haha. I think this experience truly symbolise Malaysian's sentiments towards singers. If they are good, we idolise them. If they are bad, even a little bit bad, we want to ask them to leave stage. I think ngeri sket la jadi artis kat Malaysia ni. Silap-silap kene boo. Tapi I still ada hati nak jadi recording artis. hmm... bila nak buat demo ni?

Oh back to the concert, I think I will rate it 4 out of 5 stars because I felt it was too short and the indoor stadium was lacking air conditioner. Was hot like mad there. Kipas pun takde yang mengadap our seating place. Nasib baik bawak kipas tangan sendiri. Overall, it can be better if Jason interact more with audience, especially on local subjects, if the lady yang nyanyi Lucky was better, and if the venue was cooler. Oh, btw, the people who worked at the gate was cool. They let me bring my bottle water inside. Nasib baik. Otherwise I de-hydrated.

At the end, Jason did say that this was his first time in Malaysia and he promised - sort of - that this is not going to be the last. Loudly, I was screaming of joy. Yeay, he will visit me again. So next time, jom berjimba-ramba with me :)

Thought about my past

2009-03-01T00:05:00.007+08:00

As noted fb, I've been hanging out at KLCC sometime on Friday and Saturday. I think I'm going to make it a miss on Sunday. I had too much KLCC already.

Last Friday afternoon, I was surprised to hear from a long lost friend who called me on my mobile. Immediately I had flashes of memories when this friend asked me to guess who. Of course, after ten good years, I cannot remember the voice. Then suddenly, the phone exchanged hands on the other side and a familiar voice asked me a few questions:

KB: Dia ni your dorm-mate lah...
Me: Siapa?
KB: Ala, nama dia ada kene mengena dengan Nazi!
Me: Huh? Nazi? Nazirah??
KB: Betul!!!!!!!
Me: hahahahaha...

This conversation truly strikes back memory lanes. I've spent five grueling years at a boarding school. Those days, we had so many people names to memorise. No wonder we started calling each other with nicknames.

The nicknames I can remember were Nazi, Shark, KB, Eja, Shah, Shasha, Nordy, Wawa... Most of these names derived from shortening their original first names. Example, Shasha stands for Sharifah Shahrizad and Shark shortened Siti Shakira. It worked.

Of course I cannot remember all the nicknames. I myself had a nickname too. I got it in my first week of school. What a bad luck that was because I don't think my nickname was cool or sweet or normal. It just was to me, a jester, which became overwhelming popular that people picked it up so quickly and unfortunately I had to live for it my whole life. bummer... My nickname shall remain a secret. I really do not want my friends and colleagues to use that nickname on me. Not anymore. It will just be known by long lost friends who might not even remember my real name. Another bummer...

I know a lot of people had really good bonding memories of boarding school days. To me, it was a right of passage. My family, all of them, attended highly regard and respectable boarding schools. Me? I had to join an unknown boarding school with no glory history nor glam, only because I was out of alternatives. Those days, I thought getting four As was enough to get a seat. I thought wrong and I felt like the ugly duckling with a bunch of golden swans among my family members.

Of course, this school let me play chess and be captain for the school team. They too let me forget my English homeworks without punishment for three good years. I wasn't bullied. No ragging. The teachers also thought I was super good in assembling the school's vcr that they made me a Media Specialist with a uniform! haha...

However, the bad was real bad though. Since I first joined the school, the dorms were lacking water. Seriously. We had draught for five long years. damn... and to think that my school was in Kuala Lumpur, it felt like I was schooled at an ulu. I also had teachers who were anti-students. Seriously I couldn't stand these teachers. What in the world motivated them to be teachers? I don't know. It must not due to money, for sure.

There were a lot more things that I've learned and aghast through. I somehow have a love-hate relationship with a school that I'm not sure if I like much. I do feel a bit guilty feeling like this. Ah... maybe I just need a good reunion with ex-schoolmates to rekindle those good memories.

Perhaps.

Accident

2009-02-20T23:14:00.004+08:00

This week has been full of dramas. Some were good and some not.

Today I had an automobile accident. It happened a few meters away from my office. And the bad news is, the car involved was not mine. Oh my. It felt like, sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga.

This accident happened exactly at the corner of Jalan Raja Chulan and Jalan Sultan Ismail, under the monorail station. I was being a courteous motorist, letting a fast car coming from Bukit Bintang to go pass me as the driver headed to Jalan Tengah. And just exactly after that moment, as I push the gas paddle, a Toyota Camry 2.4 banged right into my borrowed car from the back.

I was like, what the? Can't the Toyota Camry 2.4 driver see me and another motorcycle stopped there? My mind was like "oh no, I'm in deep sh*t. I borrowed this car without telling the owner".

Fortunately, I am a woman with a controlled emotion. I managed to not scream or be sarcastic at the Toyota Camry 2.4 driver. Nevertheless, I was ready to raise hell just in case the man driver turned out to be a jerk or a road bully. I can seriously hurt this man if I want to.

I saw there were four men in that Toyota car. I quickly erased the idea to raise hell. My immediate subsitute strategy was more like locking my car from inside and wait for them to go no matter whose fault it was. I'd rather pay for the damages on the car than to be extorted by four able men.

I'm lucky after all. The man driver was a quiet man. Though, he played the blame game on me. Typical. I didn't even want to take defense. In cool tone, I said to him that whatever the reason was, the fact was he hit my car. We all know the car at the back will always be at fault. There was no mystery in solving this case.

Then I saw the other three men in the Toyota. They were apparently not from this country. They looked Eastern. Business men. Coats. Brief case. Yup, they must be Japanese. The driver was a local. Thank goodness. Otherwise I need a translator.

We exchanged our info. Upon parting, I told the driver that I was going to do a police report. He said ok and told me to go to which station. After he left, I suddenly broke my cool. I freaked out. I quickly called my dad to tell him about the accident and get his advise on what to do next.

I found out that a police report can easily costs me three hundred ringgit. And the hassle to claim and do repair on the car will delay the process to over two weeks or more. Oh man, I don't have that much time. I need the car to be fixed pronto. So dad, being wise, advised me to talk to the Toyota driver on alternatives. Let's not report, and just let the Toyota driver pay for the fixes.

Gladly, the Toyota driver agreed. He took me to a workshop in Batu Caves. The car was sent and will be ready by tomorrow. I am saved.

Although I'm not at fault here, I felt relief that no lives were harmed. Just a bit of sting on the car and maybe my pocket. Wait a minute... my pocket will be saved. Yes. But yet I have to face the car owner to apologize big time. How am I going to do this?

Ironicly, this morning I was driving the car super safe. Trying carefully not to scratch the car. Even at the morning rush hour, I stopped my car about four meters away from the front car and I brake gently every time I need to halt.

I believe everything happens for a reason. This today teach me a few lessons:
1) Ask permission before borrow anything, especially a car.
2) Bad intent usually turned out bad.
3) There is no guarantee in avoiding accident, even if you are a careful driver.
4) Wear seatbelts at all time while in car.
5) Always be thankful that the worst did not happen. No lives were harmed in the course of this event.

Alhamdulillah.

No she didn't !

2009-02-19T22:11:00.004+08:00

Out of the blue, she just pissed me off once again.

Her words hurt me so bad. I thought yesterday's note from her mouth was awful. But today her words blurted like a thunder strikes through me straight to the heart. I was shocked. I didn't say anything. I took it in and I felt like crying.

I know she was upset with someone else. But that does not valid the reason to be unreasonable. Why make me suffer when you are?

Long ago I promised myself to forgive the person I love. I'm glad that my love for her is strong. Nevertheless, however strong, it destroys a part of the love. It chipped.

I know, hating her and running far away are not the solutions. That never going to change our situation. I hate to admit it, if I leave, I will miss her too much. I don't think I can ever leave her.

Now I just need to cry some tears. My chest hurts again.

Leave me, I need to cry....

Demo song wanted

2009-02-17T20:06:00.001+08:00

I wish to record a song.

Do you have a band? Can help me record a demo?

Are you from Penang?

2009-02-11T22:55:00.011+08:00

A lot of times strangers (and sometimes friends) have been mistakenly identify me as a Penangites.

There is absolutely nothing wrong if you are from Penang, but it really doesn't make sense to me when I am not related to Penang, not even a scratch. So how come? How did they derived to the conclusion that I must be originated from the beautiful state called Penang? Believe me, I don't mind having a home near a beach somewhere in Penang.

The clue must have been my face and my nose and my skin tone. I have the Penang chop. haha...

You see, I've spent a few weeks in Penang last year. During the time, I came across hundreds of Penangites face-to-face as part of my work-holiday-things-to-do. I observed, watched, communicated and reflected... Strangely, nobody looked like me. Even my friends suggested that she looked more like a Penangite than me coz the makciks that we saw automatically spoke Penang with her, instead of me.

What a revelation. My friend features were the total opposite of me. I can only laughed out loud at her. Unfortunately, she did not like the comparison.

So what makes me look like me? The formula is Jawa. Yup people, I am half Jawa.

Introducing my dad, Mohd Mokhtar, and my mom, Rodah

Try to guess. Which one is Jawa?

My parents and me. I was cute heh?

My brother and I. We laughed a lot during our childhood.

When I was younger, I thought I looked more like my father, mainly because I was darker. Having a fairer little brother made him my natural competitor. I was cute, but my brother was cuter by miles. He always had more presents than me. Envy :<

Later I turned out to look more like my mother than my father. This was great because I know my mom younger self was hot! haha. She was sort of a beauty queen during her hay day. Nevertheless, I was struggling with confidence during my teenage years. I didn't fully embraced my genetic beauty till now.

See for yourself, she was hot!

Looking back, I wished my mom had made me her princess. Play doll all day, have room full of teddys, get princess birthday parties... Too late. I grew up with two boys. I played with dirt and robots.

All in all, I don't mind having to be associated with being Jawa. I actually liked it. My dad had his blood from my nenek and atok whom decendants were directly from Java island. One thing missing was that my dad did not taught us Javanese language. A few times I told my dad I wish to learn. It didn't happen though. I only know how to count to five. Siji, loro, telu, papat, limo... haha.

Planning for Holiday

2009-02-10T20:07:00.002+08:00

There seems to be so many things I want to do this year. Best to think to list it down before I forget.

1) to get a best friend
2) to go holiday for two straight weeks
3) to go F1 race in Sepang
4) to watch Jason Mraz in concert
5) to find a boyfriend
6) to start a short book
7) to finish self portrait project
8) to take GMAT
9) to khatam Quran
10) to apply for Berkeley
11) to watch New Moon
12) to start a business plan
13) to register a company
14) to get sized down
15) to read lots of books
16) to concentrate on voluntarism

I think I can cross out at least five by the end of 2009.

Fun Quiz

2009-02-09T01:08:00.000+08:00

You Are a Cartographer

You have a wide range of knowledge and you're very detail oriented.

You have a photographic memory, and you remember places very well.

Like a middle ages cartographer, you're also very adventurous and curious about the world.

In modern times, you would make a good non-fiction writer or scientist.

What's Your Medieval Profession?

Speed Dating 101

2009-02-07T21:00:00.002+08:00

Today was a mark in my calendar. I've been meeting twelve guys at a time in a span of three hours. Yeah, I attended a speed dating. My first, and I don't think it will be my last.

I'm glad that this speed dating came just at the right time. I'm ready for whatever. The guys were great. All sure had a sign of nervousness. I could tell. One guy directly told me that I was too cool to look any more nervous. haha. I thought he was kidding.

Actually, I was taken by myself. I've never been this confident or cool around men, especially strangers. Because yesterday I was a nervous wreck. I don't know what came over me. It happened just like that. Maybe an alien took over my body in those three hours. haha.

In general, I am a shy being. But over these years, I have gained so much experience and discovery, I decided that I like meeting people. Too much it seems. I even talked to randomly old men and had a lengthy conversation on world, politics, artists, sports and most of the times, about family.

Another time, I remembered a few months back, I was in Kampung Baru with my sister having our tosai when these two elderly man sit down with us and I started listening. The old man said I have a look like an educator, a teacher. That's why he was interested to talk to me. haha. I don't even know how to translate that. Maybe I was like a magnet i thought. You know how the elderly look highly upon teachers. They trust teachers with their children. So I guess, my face looks innocent. haha again. I want to know how my friends think of that?

I think, meeting people is like a drug. I need it regularly. But today, I felt like I was overdosed. I am having an all time high.

I'm not hoping for a lot from today. It is silly to think that people get attracted immediately on a very short encounter. I'm a rationalist. It is very rare for me to fall in love at first sight, like the dinasour - it smells extinction. Have to say, things went well. I like most of them, but selected a few of those who I would like to meet further.

On each person, I spent around five minutes to know them. The conversations were good. Some were real good. Too bad on those, I can't spend that much time. Overall, it was a nice experience. If you are single, you must do it once in a lifetime.

Surprisingly, the girls I met there were not the type that I would imagined too. I was thinking like these women must be in a state of competitiveness somehow. I was expecting girls who dressed up too much, or make up too much, or have that annoying girly laugh, or talked too loud so that the next guy in the next table would heard, or flirting with the guy across the room. However, it was not like that. Girls were cool too. Maybe because some of them know each other prior to the event. So they act more like themselves.

I am proud that I've made this journey. I've met some cool people, some future friends, and maybe some potential dates. Who knows what will happen. I'm praying for the best.

New Job Incoming

2009-02-05T22:20:00.003+08:00

I think the issue abt my job is quite settled. My future boss can't wait for me to join her team. That's a good sign! Since I let her know abt accepting her offer last week, the whole of her team has been informed too - on a hush hush tone. I thought it wasn't supposed to be made official till the next two weeks. Well, what to do. I am pleased mixed with anxiety. I hope the team would like me.

Yerterday morning, I was surprised to hear my team mate colleague who were asking me abt it - saying that he heard from someone who heard from someone who heard from someone that I'm leaving. I felt sorry for him to know that way. I thought I was going to tell him personally after the long weekend. Someone beat me to it. So I told him my story, which has started more than 5 weeks earlier.

He didn't know abt the big big big boss called me to his office to discuss abt my future at the company. We both know it is was unavoidable that something was bound to happen to my unit. It was only time. Now he know my future, he was worried abt his. I hope he doesn't freak out too much.

Only today I managed to meet my current boss after his return from leave. My boss seemed sadden for my departure. From his reaction, I think he had hoped I didn't take the offer that quickly, or maybe he was thinking of considering me for a place in his team. I don't know what he thinks. I managed to be firm abt my decided decision. Thankfully I didn't re-think, otherwise I'll be in the in-between place again.

With this, I hope to escape the drama that I've been imagining for the longest time. It was a roller coaster in my head. Butt-heading people was not the best way to get what you want. Maybe this is the big compromise.

I still wish I had another option. The option that I really wanted to seriously consider. It didn't come by as I expected. Too bad, I thought I would be great there. Maybe they are not seriously considering me as I thought they would. Ah, maybe a better option will rise up sooner than later. Who knows.

Self Potrait #2

2009-02-05T20:37:00.005+08:00

One Egyptian eye out of boredom *sigh*

2009-02-02T23:42:00.002+08:00

vaarwel mijn beste vriend

2009-02-02T19:38:00.005+08:00

My friend, Dya, is leaving for Brisbane, Australia this Saturday. So we met up for a short while this afternoon at Pavilion together with our ex-boss, Janice, for a chit chat over coffee.

Here's are the pictures to commemorate today's farewell.

Project -- Self Potrait Disclaimer

2009-02-01T00:42:00.001+08:00

Self Potrait

This is a project that starts on 31 January 2009. What influence this project is self discovery and love for life. This document shall compile all the good work of the author, including digital pictures, illustrations, paintings and written notes. All rights will be owned by the sole author. No copies shall be made unless with author's permission.

Self Potrait ... The Beginning

2009-02-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

Recently I was again absorbed in reading. Dan Brown was my next in list. After a wonderful encounter with The Davinci Code in 2005, I have been wanting to read another novel by Brown.

By chance of looking at movie trailers a few weeks back, I came across another movie adapted from a novel by the same author, soon to be released this year. One that I found interesting in the writing was about the painting masters. There were quite a lot of names mentioned in the book. But what intrique me the most was about self potrait.

I was suddenly reminded of the trip I had to the Louvre in Paris, France. That place was magical! I love paintings. I don't understand them, but I love them anyway. I do relate creativity with geniuses. Of this reason, I was thinking of starting a new project. A self potrait project.

I hope this time I'll do it good.

Here's my first work.

GNO on 23/1/09

2009-01-28T22:27:00.002+08:00

Weekend #2

2009-01-27T18:03:00.004+08:00

It has been a really good rest for me. I love sleeping late at night and wake up just in time for lunch. Seems perfect in my world.

Saturday and Sunday were pretty much cleaning days. I also felt that I should do some cooking. So I did. Sunday night I went out with my brothers and had dinner at Tony's. All good.

Monday they all all came home. So good to have the whole family home. It was as expected though, not that excited as what others might have felt. I hope time changes us all. I am hoping for a little bit change, at least.

So far Tuesday has been really slow. I like this.

Weekend #1: Friday night out

2009-01-24T00:35:00.003+08:00

Thanks to my dear friends F & Z, I had a really nice time out last night.

Had a cozy dinner at TGI and a Bedtime Stories movie, a good movie starts to this long weekend. I think I shall see more movies in the next few days.

Glad that kakak and adik were enjoying their time too. Although I saw sleepy faces...

Later I shall post some pics of the nite out.

Tomorrow need to remember to send my car for service.

Cook Master

2009-01-11T22:29:00.013+08:00

Some of the things I like to do is cooking. It is a stress reliever and a way to show my creativity - in recipes, I mean.

How did this all started? How did I learn to cook?

Looking back, I think the first few things I learned before I cook myself was preparing ingredients. Red onions was really tough back then. I cried so many times - tears of pain - that I nearly gave it up. But I was hard-headed, wanting to prove that I can handle the red onions minions! So it was all practice and more practice. Months after I think I learn to hold up my tears.

One tip though, make sure your onions are not watery when you are slicing or dicing them up and make sure your onion face the other way - not to your own face. And never ever put your hands near your eyes during or after handling red onions without washing your hand. Hope that helps.

Secondly I took a shot at preparing coconut milk from real old coconut shreds. I remembered it clearly that I had a bicycle then. My mom would asked me to go to the little indian shop at the military flat - a lot of kids around my house has a parent who was in the army - to get the 50 cent shredded old coconut and sometimes a few kgs of sugar. haha... it was funny because if I had a trip with sugar order, usually my bicycle would lean one side. Too bad I wasn't really clever that time. I should have asked the indian shop owner to divide the sack into two even weights. And yeah, my bicycle was a boy's bicycle, they don't have the basket in front! I had to maximise the use of the handles to carry the sugar.

When I get back from the shop, my mom would asked me to use the electric blender and I carefully divide the shredded coconut into two portions and blend each portion separately. So the first liquid would be the most potent coconut milk. Usually we use this in special recipe. Mom would store the potent coconut milk in the fridge for that special food. Then, I will blend the same shredded coconut another one or two times and get the milk out of them for the day's use. My hands usually hurts after this caused by the pressure I used to ensure all the milk was drained from the shreds. I was determined. So to me, no pain, no gain.

Another skill that I acquired got to do with shrimps. My family eat a lot of shrimps. And we don't get those scale free shrimps here. So my task when my mom got back from the wet market would be assining me to the shrimps. What I had to do was, first, detach the head. Second, unrest the scales and third, pull the tail. All these without any tool but my small fingers. And the smell of fresh shrimps... something that kids my age then would stayed away from. I think I was brave - and maybe my mom did said something along, "this is the easiest chore you have to do". So I settled with that.

And I can't remember why I did this next thing - I learned how to clean a fish by myself!! To many, this is the scariest thing to do. It's even worst than dismembered a "clean" chicken. urgghh... it was something that you couldn't imagine doing yourself. And the most eerie of all was the smell and the things you need to take out from the fish. There are the heart, stomach, intestine, liver, spleen, pyloric caeca, gas bladder, kidney, etc.. etc.. Maybe reading this makes you green already... I think I held up a few gags throughout the ordeal. I still doing the same now. Can't go over it.

So far, in terms of smell, I hate most the Parastromateus niger aka black pomfret aka bawal hitam. I've only dealt with sea fishes, so I wouldn't know whether the river fishes are any worst. Thankful for the super hypermarket nowadays. I don't have to endure the sicky feeling anymore. Just ask the man behind the counter to clean those up and presto, a fish for me to fry!

Nowadays, I cook for fun. I'm not saying I like to cook everyday cause that never can be fun. Check out for some pics of my latest invention. Looks yummy to you?

THE SPREAD

MASHED POTATO

MUSHROOM & ONION

GLAZED VEGETABLES

CREAMY GRAVY

THE ROASTED CHICKEN

THE FINAL RESULT : MY PLATE

Pleasure in Reading

2009-01-08T00:30:00.001+08:00

Lately I have been doing a lot of reading.

Bought quite some number of books and then forced a friend to send me the Stephanie Meyer's series which was on e-book because I couldn't find any of her books on the shelf after the movie was out and Christmas was just - then - around the corner.

I went to at least four bookstores before I finally gave up. The customer service people were all smiles, telling me that all prints were pre-booked and paid for. "Not until next year, if you're lucky". Darn that smile. I couldn't get angry, but damn frustrated nevertheless.

Like always, I couldn't wait. I wanted to read the series so bad.

Gleefully Z told me that she purchased a copy of the first book months back. I was estatic! Finally! The wait was worth it. Quickly the next day Z delivered the book to me. hehehehehehe..

So I read the whole book all night and continue again the day after and finished it by the same day. I fell in love. I loved the book and I loved Stephanie Meyer, in that order.

However the feelings didn't last long. The next day I was starting to acutely be depressed. Why? Because I didn't have the next book! That's why.

I was mulling around and told Z that I wanted to keep the book longer than I earlier anticipated. I re-read obviously. And this time I make my reading pace slower. Much slower that I ended up spending a whole week looking at the book. oh... oh... Z, I really took a good care of your book. No worries :)

In the next week, I can't stop talking to K about my new found love. haha... I think she freaked out by my passion in this book and kept asking her to watch the movie with me. By this time, I've watched the movie twice. K knew this, and like always, tried to keep me not spending too much money on this movie. Thanks K, but you should have not!!! I would be terrifiedly happy to watch it again. Honest.

Luck found me when I bumped into Y the same week. I can't help talking about it to Y too. And Y understood. hehe.. Y was like me too and was in the bandwagon much much earlier than me. That's how I got my e-book!! errmm.. should be e-books (with s)

For a good weekend, I had to stress out my eye balls looking at my computer screen without the comfort of my bed. I actually really like reading my books with my pillows. My back hurts, my bum bruised - i think - for sitting too long. My eyes naturally dried easily. Self-sacrifice was sweet when I read The End on the last book of the series. It felt liberating. I conquered - me.

My favourite book is the third. It felt like it was me in there - or maybe I should say wish I need the torn and disgust to view the world like a better place.

This definitely made me thinking about me again. I shudder the thought that I need to feel miserable to see good. But why? Can't I just skip the ugly to view the beauty? Must I destroy a good thing before it is too late to see the goodness in the first place? hmm. Something to mull again later.

Caught Myself

2009-01-07T20:14:00.004+08:00

Down to you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that, I should've never thought

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that
I should've never thought of you of you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No, I don't know what I want

You got it, you got it
Some kind of magic
Hypnotic, hypnotic
You're leaving me breathless
I hate this, I hate this!
You're not the one I believe in
With God as my witness

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that
I should've never thought
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that
I should've never thought of you - of you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No, I don't know what I want

Don't know what I want
But I know it's not, you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
When I know in my heart it's not, you

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should've never thought
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should've never thought of you!

I knew, I know in my heart it's not you
I know, but now I know what I want!
I want!
I want!
Oh no! I should've never thought!

-Paramore-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdgloF4uguA

Way passed New Year

2009-01-05T23:52:00.003+08:00

I think I am already way passed new year. Oh, it only has been five days..

I can feel that this year is not going to be too much of a difference than last year. Purely pessimistic about the whole rave.

Last year I had a chance to be somebody that I may or may not turned into. I wished I had tried nevertheless. I chickened out, as always.. due to lack of support and scrutinize eyes.

It's just not easy to break this thin layer of cacoon oozhing beyond me. Can somebody crack me open? This chick need to get out, desparately.

Oh btw, I think I had an ephiphany last Saturday night. Someone mentioned to me about a place that rather look bright and interesting (if I ever get to go) to be this year. I am working on it. So I put the decision to be materialised by the true power. Hopefully I am finally accepted.

I wish myself a very goodluck!

Confirmed!!!

2008-12-31T00:08:00.004+08:00

Tonight I saw a drummer, a basis and a lead guitarist. I like them in that order.

For sure having this quality in my man is absolutely sexy!

Aiyaa...

Are you okay?

2008-12-29T19:07:00.003+08:00

I found a new way to make myself happy.

I listen to classical music...

*************************************************

I've been thinking lately to migrate. I know it is not easy to just pack your bags and leave. It is sort of a selfish wanting.

I really do want to make myself happy again. I cannot find happiness here. I have given up.

I can't understand my surrounding. Why do I have to change myself so much that it makes me just more depressed?

I can't give up on my life yet. This is not what I want.

So I have been looking for options. Seems that immigration is not for everyone too. Too much rules to follow.

Maybe it is best for me to consider for Grad school. Thing is, I am not financially equipped. And I worry. Worry about the consequences.

I think if I go, I will go and never to return. It will be sad...

Musicians are hot!

2008-12-26T23:53:00.004+08:00

I never put a thought into it much until recently. I’ve been scanning through things that I like and that I hate. Mostly my likes are surprisingly … a revelation. The things I hate … well, let’s just say I re-affirmed them.

Firstly I like music, so much more now. I was pretty much babbling (in my attempt to sing) day after day, at night, in my car, on some music that I find amusing until I got myself into a sore. Man, I hope those who heard me turned deaf once I had my groove on. I think it is a way to make me more confident … more assuring of myself. It is a selfish reason to start “babbling” all night. Hehe. It was sure fun to me.

Then this thing about getting attention has been bugging me. Of course singing alone is an indulgence. But as when I had the chance to show off some talents in front of people whom I pretty much make a fool of myself in, I get this rush… hmm… adrenaline maybe… excitement that I could not muster till now. Why am I excited, at all? Hell, I don’t know.

It is actually nice to get people noticed of you somehow. In my case, to be positively noticed. Whooaa… I don’t want to be caught red-handed on scandalous gossip. Ever. It somehow boosts you up. Give you the extra energy that you thought you never had in you. Of course till now I couldn’t really embrace the extra attention. I’m still hiding in my shy, self-conscious inner element. Definitely that stays in me forever! It makes it too difficult to just look at my audience in the eye and say, “Yup you are right! I’m awesome.”

I guess I cannot take complementary as easy or light as it sounds. I remembered there was a time when a boy actually came up to me and said congratulations because I just got my first “nombor satu dalam kelas” after more than three years at school. Of course this happened during my hormonal raging years. I was too shy to own it. The boy was obviously the brightest of us all in my year. He was the “nombor satu dalam kelas” of his own, in the selected elite students. Haha. What I did then? I faced him, dumbstruck, said a quick thanks and run away … Not really running la, but it was a quick swift. And hide myself for the whole day. A friend saw the congratulatory incident and became outrageously jealous. I was afraid to loose the friendship. So I just brush away the memory of it all, denying it ever took place.

Thereafter, my reactions turned out to copy similar reaction. I am, the very least, admit that I am pretty good in academic and in playing chess. Teachers, coaches, friends, judges, would go to me to celebrate my triumph every time I succeeded. I was so afraid to look arrogant (I felt arrogant, no denying that) in claiming my winning, at the end I would timidly make a small smile and just like that my face would play a poker face. Not showing how exceedingly happy I was to be so good in what I do. I have no idea what they would thought of me then…

Back to this music thing, my liking of it has grown so much that it clouded my mind in my choices. Like any single ladies at my age, we always wonder what type of a guy would we date… who would we eventually like to consider as possible life partner. I’ve always thought that my choice is always open. I simply don’t care who I date.

However this troubles me. I don’t seem to like someone long enough to consider the possibility. Maybe my choices have been too widely ranged that I couldn’t point out exactly why I like the guy in the first place. Oh my… how hard is this going to be?

So I deliberated so much in my head (too many times) that I think what’s wrong here is I cannot stick around with anyone until I can make my mind on what I really like in my man. Huh… can this be any difficult for me? This is really a tough call.

I seriously do not want to be a stuck up female who chooses selectively and carefully to the very detail on their mate. It just diminish my range of choices if I’ve been too specific and choosy. Let’s not be. So I guess for now, I am thinking that music would be my “now” criteria. I need to find me a musician.

Actually, I don’t mean an active musician. Someone with the skill on a piano would be suffice. Maybe drums too… The only guitar player I like is the one who can play the axe guitar, aka “gitar kapak”. Haha… Maybe this way we get to be compatible in some ways. I like babbling and he likes to play the music sheet. It all would work out, right?

Let’s hope so. Oh btw, Jason Mraz is my boyfriend in my other life. So is Debussy.

Damn you Edward Cullen!

2008-12-21T21:14:00.004+08:00

Ha. I think I am hooked.

The Twilight series is so much more than I initially expected. I couldn't believe myself to be able to finish reading the whole series in approximately six days (and I'm working too you know).

I think I would always dream a person like Edward Cullen or Jacob Black (I think I like Jacob Black better because he is humanly possible and funny, and I never ever had found a man as dedicated and committed like Edward Cullen, so he is a false).

Nway, if you haven't read those damn books, you should. I totally recommend to those who likes to love and be loved.

Can't wait for the next movie to come up!!!

We Will, We Will Rock You!!!

2008-04-26T18:39:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone.

I had my first team building experience yesterday with my big EB sales family. Definitely it was a 1½ day experience to remember.

Joining EB for nearly a year now make me realize that I am really at a good place in my career. All of a sudden I ‘see’ the faces of those who are the experts in the insurance field. These people are the ones responsible to make EB where they are now, and we are and still at the number 1 spot in the industry.

What I need to do next is to focus to learn as much as possible from the Gurus and make sure I also can be the expert one day.

My journey on the team building experience started with a bus ride at 7am-ish on Friday morning to Seremban. After coming to Seremban three times in the past 2 weeks for a launching, didn’t bother me too much about the trip down south. I’m more anxious to see the old Seremban that I have not visited for such a long time. I was in Seremban 2 you see, so my favorite old Seremban part I have yet to visit for, at least, since I go for the US to study. Felt like meeting an old flame… huhu….

Truly the changes amazed me. There were so much going on that I couldn’t put things in perspective. Different road movement, new buildings, new signage, new housing areas. I’m glad I could see the old A&W is still there where I remember it used to be. I had a lot of memories there…. I couldn’t see the tasik and the masjid negeri…. Too bad… maybe I should take a day trip again to Seremban next time.

We arrive at Klana Resort around 8.30 am and had breakfast. The Vantrax people were energized bunch of trainers. They are Sandra. Mehan, Sunita, and Rahul – the most eligible bachelor –single and available– as what the other girls were commenting. I learned that he is a Cindian, so he looked Malay at all angles.

As for the team building experience, I was optimist, trying to do all the things that are going to be a challenge to me.

We had mind games, physical games, I even crawled, kissing the dirt for a challenge. Hehe. All was fun. My main challenge is of course in facing heights. I really couldn’t do it. I went up on the flyingfox because my big big big big bos wanted me to do it. How can I say no right? I wasn’t convincing enough to them eyes to be the one who is afraid of heights, because I always challenge people at higher ranking at the office. They see me as a brave person la – I think. Well, at least now they know I am truly afraid of heights and would never do those terjun from pokok thing ever again.

That night we had dinner and yes, socializing night is awesome. Some dancing and singing took place. Even the guy who was singing all night dedicated me a song – a love song, I think, or was it a heartbreak song? – Jue said the song was popularized by Amy Search. Either way, I was flattered coz I didn’t see it coming. Haha.

Another thing is, I’m not sure why, but I’m feeling someone wanted to know me closer. I hope I didn’t sent him a dismissal reaction coz I’m not so sure how to react to men who I thought could have choose someone else instead of me. I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder why I flirted a lot but I didn’t take an opportunity to go further when there was someone who is truly interested in me. Now, at home, I felt like I missed a boat ride to Paradise Island. I’m sure love would feel great. I surely do not want to be alone – single and available – anymore. I hope he will find my number somehow and call me. At least I would know he is worth a shot.

The closing of the team building allowed me to share with my big boss and big big bos of what I or should I say My Team needed in order for us to go further in our growth. I’m glad I did get it off my chest without sounding like a whiney grandmother. I hope things will progress well from now on, so that my dream in career in this field is going to flourish and one day hoping to be an expert.

Thanks to all, I did enjoy these 1½ day event.

ING F1 VIP Party

2008-03-20T21:26:00.005+08:00

It felt so good when I was invited to attend an exclusive VIP F1 party. Being an F1 fan, I am once again blessed to celebrate and rejoice the sports that I lurrve.

Did you know that I was one of few who had the chance to visit the pit garage of ING Renault in Sepang last year? I was also in attendance of qualifying round in Belgium last September.

I don't have much to say about this "private" party than sharing with you some of the pics I took with good friends. Sad to say, I wished I had stayed a little longer to do some serious dancing..

ING - One cool party table.

My good companions, all night cherry :)
From left : Mua, Ros, Siew Ping (the tall one), Jessy, Jonie, Yi Ling, Arif

First act of the night, Camelia.

My upclose and personal with Joey-G (MTV VJ). Yumm....

All-4-One was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!!
Tony, Jamie, Delious and Alfred all made a special dedication to me that night. I was in lurrve with them much more when they sing "I Swear" and looked at me for more than "the comfortable" seconds. haha... I guess I was the screaming fan :) Ye lah, since I was right to the front... mestila diaorang perasan. What a night...

Here's Joey interviewing the 3rd driver from ING Renault team.
It really made me wonder how come Renault employs the good looking ones... Maybe it is also a marketing strategy, to lure women like me hehe...

Time to say goodbye. Of course, photo sessions are required.

I wish all the best to ING Renault this year. Maybe Alonso can do a surprise by winning it at Sepang this year, or maybe Nelson is better this time around.

Though, I have my own favourite team that I am rooting for. They won top 3 in Australia with my favourite driver winning it xoxo *screaming of happiness*

Hope he wins again.

Back to business

2008-01-25T22:01:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I talked to my sister about blogs and how I was writing so much when I was in the US. I totally forgotten how good it feels to write blog. Those days I sometimes had the greatest idea on stuff to write in blogs (and somewhere else too). It was refreshing to be able to get things out from your everyday feelings and on-goings.

I don't think I'm as good of a writer as before, though.

Maybe I'll start to write again soon.

How many days?

2007-05-28T22:54:00.000+08:00

It has been exactly 1 year 8 months and 13 days that I have worked in my current company. I have to say the first 13 months was pretty slow. Basically I was "resting". Nevertheless I have been working like a pig for the past few months, trying to fit in where I thought I should belong.

I had my doubts for the longest time. I felt I have to move on in order for me to be sober and regain conciousness. So how long does it take for someone to move on?

In my case, I took about 5 months to group my nerves and talk to the big guy that my life need to take a different course. Hah.. I felt a bit relief now. Thank goodness there was no misconstrues between me and them. I'm free now...

I hope I would have a better 1 year 8 months and 13 days of working life next. Life is tricky. So I have to make it worth while.

Yours humbly,

Ruzlina

2006-08-17T20:52:00.000+08:00

hello

My good friend left me

2006-02-26T22:21:00.000+08:00

I suddenly feel sadden by the fact that things change quickly around me.

I try hard to ignore it. But the more I try to ignore, the more painful it felt as if my trust is slashed down slowly, second-by-second.

I cannot believe in anybody anymore.

You left me and I am truly hurt.

Silly

2006-02-19T19:00:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps...

Sorry for keeping you all waiting. I know, i know... I didn't keep my promise. Should have posted two entries last time. But the internet connection let me down. So I waited till today.

Wow... few months passed by. If I'm not mistaken, I'm half way on my work training. Let's just say it is all alright, at least for now.

Oh yeah, some of the new Bloomingtonians grads came back the past few weeks. Sure good to hear from them all. Reminded me a lot when I myself set my feet on Malaysia. Unreal.

Gosh... Did I...? Never mind.

I think I have a problem.

The solution is? I seriously need to consider more options. It is time for me to meet some new blokes around town. My parents (actually it's my mom) has been asking me why do I stay home too much lately. Well daaaaa... My friends are all residing out of KL. err... that is not completely true.. erk.. I am... I am... actually..... hmm.. how should I say this..... been out of reach? Oh bugger. My social life sucks.

Now, I don't usually do this, but if you are reading this, yes I mean anybody who reads this, if you want to ask me to hang out with you or something, call me ya. The number 017-3710870. The name is Ina.

Okay it does sounds pethetic (did I spell that right?). Don't laugh. Just call. By the way, invitation is open to all gender.

Days in KL

2005-12-15T15:05:00.000+08:00

Hey people,

Whaddup? It has been ages ain't it? You people must have wondered where I have gone to. Truthfully, it is hard to explain why I didn't write lately. But let's just keep this simple and let's just say I didn't have the time and resources.

So peeps, you wanna hear something new? yeah? you wanna?

I'm sure you do and I just can't wait to tell you about them. hahaha... really ka Ina?

The past few weeks have been somewhat happy, exciting, dreadful, and just plainly sad. What can I say, my life is full of dramas.

Oh, by the way, let me clear some things out. From now on, my blog is for my own usage, nothing business, just personal stuff that I want to let you guys read out aloud. errrk... No lah... just a place where I can write stuff so that you can keep up with the happenings in my life. So no more all these academic stuff, or talk about serious things. All I want to so is whine and whine and whine and whine and whine until you are too tired to hear me whine but still excited :D

This time of year, I feel quite discontent.

I missed so much of Bloomington and the Cristmas festivities happenin' in the States. Oh how I miss shopping there. I knew if I were in the States right now, I'll be in Chicago, spending my money out to my favourite retailers. I desperately need new shoes and new handbags. Gosh... Nik and Effy would definitely agree with me on this.

Sucks is the word to describe my feeling right now.

I know Malaysia is the home sweet home but if I were to choose where I would rather live between Malaysia and the States in terms of shopping, I would rather choose the States. Finding shoes for me in KL is hell. Nice shoes but no size. I envy too many people that I would be too happy just to cut off their legs. Horrible ain't it? Wished PayLess is open in KL.

The nicest thing I had in Malaysia is I guess the food choices. Roti canai, Nasi kerabu, Char kuey tiow, biryani, masak asam pedas, dim sum, etc, you can find them all easily at most time of the day. Unfortunately, I also missed Red Lobster meals. Oh, missed too much at the shrimp pasta alfredo. Can't find anything similar like that in KL. I've gone to many pasta restaurants in KL/PJ and all has failed to catch my taste buds. Even marinara at local cafes in the States tasted much better than those at the fancy pasta restaurants in KL. Don't believe me? Wait la till you are living and breathing KL.

If you ask me what excites me most living and working in KL, I would have to say it is the buildings. Everyday drive to inner KL, I can see almost all the famous and infamous structures from those shopping bazaar on Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman to those towering office buildings in the Golden Triangle area. I mean, I can feel that I am in this important place where people are making decisions every minute involving millions of ringgit, processed and exchanged hands everyday of the week including Saturdays and Sundays. Sometimes, I can just imagine my feet on the sidewalks of Manhattan, staring up the sky, looking at the tallest building in town. Perhaps working at the Twin Towers is fabulous, but in my opinion working at the streets of Jalan Raja Chulan and Jalan Sultan Ismail is hippier.

There are lots of stuff going on in KL that I've never known before. Maybe I had no money then, but since now that I have the credit and freedom to explore new things, in a few months time I should have pick up the "newly working class" things to do. I have to admit that I have some things going on now. Anyway, can't tell you now just yet. I'll tell you if we get to meet ya. hehehehehe...

Yup, being a KL citizen can be deceiving to the eyes of some opinioted people. I know I can look too innocent (erkk..) as if I know nothing, but you guys should know that I live and breath the good and the bad of KL for too long. There is no turning back and I cannot try not to be a proud KL citizen.

Sehingga bertemu kembali di lain lembaran.

(Notice: Next blog will get published between 7/12/2005 and 7/2/2006)

Soalan2 cepu emas (Part 1)

2005-09-14T08:15:00.000+08:00

Got this 44 Questions from Judd's website. So here goes:

01. Last person you wrote a testimonial?
I think it was my mom.

02. Sport you did last?
Swimming.

03. Last movie you watched?
The Island (at the movies) and Dummy (on HBO).

04. What do people first notice when they meet you?
My face.

05. Do you like peanut-butter?
Yes, especially in those Reeses.

06. Do you read comics?
No.

07. How pretty/handsome is your crush?
Not sure. I'm hoping he is cute.

08. Do you like studying?
No.

09. How many piercings do you have?
None.

10. Favorite coffee place?
Starbucks or Coffee Bean.

11. Wanna be a celebrity?
No. Hate the limelights.

12. Do you like surveys?
Yes, I like making them.

13. Your close friends?
Bloomington friends, 5C girls, PPP friends, SMAKL friends, SRK Sri Delima friends, my neighbours, my other family members, previous officemates.... etc

14. Your worst physical asset?
I like what I have.

15. Most people would describe you as?
A good cook. ye ke?

16. What you hate about yourself?
My "malasness".

17. Vegetable you hate?
Brussel sprout.

18. Do you like to go out on a grocery shopping?
Yes! I miss Kroger very much.

19. Favorite person in the world?
My family.

20. Can you dance?
Free-style dance? Sure can.

21. Favorite past time?
Travel.

22. Are you happy?
Yes.

23. Do you believe love at first sight?
Yes.

24. What is the worst rumour you've heard about yourself?
I'm Arab.

25. What was the most stupid thing you did for the person you love?
Gave him something that he didn't appreciate at all.

26. Are you in love?
Not yet.

27. Do you miss him/her?
The people around me? sometimes.

28. What is the name of your boyfriend/girlfriend?
I wish his name would be Mohd Brad Pitt bin Abdullah.

29. What time is it now?
7:08pm

30. Aside from answering this survey, what else are you doing?
Listening to the TV.

31. First thing to do when you wake up tomorrow?
Finding my glasses.

32. Where are you right now?
My brothers' room.

33. What's one thing you like to do alone?
Berangan-angan.

34. What kind of books do you like to read?
Fiction.

35. What is the geekiest part of your fashion collection?
My mom's c;lothes.

36. How many drinks before you get really high?
About 8 glass of rose syrup at a wedding.

37. What can you say about the person who sent this to you?
Actually, I sent this survey to myself. So I guess I am ........

39. Who do you hate most now?
Crazy KL drivers.

40. Reasons?
Because they wanna kill me and my passangers really bad.

41. Are you an angel in school?
Nope. I was the silent killer.

42. Do you suck in sports?
Mostly. I like volleyball, table tennis, and walking.

43. Are you the most popular in school?
If you think having a functional good brain makes you popular, then maybe i was.

44. What do you think of this survey?
Maybe it needs some improvements.

Macam ni la bila dah bosan

2005-09-13T09:05:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody,

I'm suddenly affected by the "bosan" syndrome. 3 more days till I start my job. uh.... need something to do. Anybody yang nak keluar jalan2 ke makan2 ke, ajak i lah ye. Lemme know.

Life is Good

2005-09-09T07:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

Next week, my unemployment days will be over. Alhamdulillah... Terima kasih Ya Tuhanku di atas segala pemberianmu. Aku bersyukur kerana diberikan kenikmatan ini oleh Mu Ya Allah. Semoga hati ku senantiasa mengingati Mu pada setiap ketika. InsyaAllah...

Blessing to all :)

So, from now on, my life would not be like a joyride anymore. There are allowances and bills to be paid. Come now the life of a corporate slave. Well, nevertheless I chose to be in this path. It is me who should be responsible for my life decisions, right? uhh.... *not sure* ahh... maybe sooner or later I would write something bitching the place I work and the people who work there. That should cheer me up! thehehehehehe...

Yesterday I went for the medical check up. I think the last time I had a physical was probably five years ago after I accepted the scholarship. Anyways, this time it was quite different. More touching and more tests. I was nervous before I met the doctor, not because I hate needles, but because I was really hoping it was gonna be a lady doctor than an old dude trying to get under my blouse. Good thing the physician was a lady. I told her about my health history like feeding a child with candies. hmm... maybe I told her too much. Whatever. My nervousness went away as I telling her how my life was in the states, blah blah blah... At last she told me I was healthy except for the weight, of course. Yeah, I told her that I will work on it, soon...

So, any tips on what to do or how to introduce yourself to future colleagues in the office?

(P/s: Bloomingtonians! The Endless Shrimp promotion is on right now!!!! Oh I wish I am there to eat those shrimpsssss with you people! Happy shrimpin!)

Another Wedding

2005-08-28T11:10:00.000+08:00

Hello friends,

Lately I have been thinking a lot about me writing this blog thingy. It has been a while since I started writing, but I've been loosing my main purpose... why did I begin to write anyway?

The only reason that I can think of is maybe I thought I could practice my English. Too bad not much improvement made. I'm still writing so-and-so (what da ya think?). Gotta agree my conversational English is much better than four years ago. Thanks America!

By the by, I started to love reading. Well, not many books I've read lately. Just some fiction. Nevertheless, I think I should be continuing writing, just so I don't forget how to write "socially". I know it is hard to meet friends nowadays, so this is a way to say hi to them and cathing up on things.

Earlier this afternoon, I went to another wedding of a Bloomington friend of mine in Bangi, Selangor. Too bad I couldn't go to her Kelantanese wedding ceremony last Saturday. It should have been something totally different.

Here in Malaysia, Malay weddings typically designed to show one's heritage and his/her hometown culture. That means, a wedding in Kelantan would not be as same as a wedding in Perlis, vice-versa.

The wedding ceremony that I went to today was traditionally called "Menyambut Menantu" (Translation: The In-Laws Reception), where the bride is greeted by the family and friends of the groom's. It was a small and simple ceremony. Saw some friends from IU and others there.

A toast to the bride and groom. May your joining brings fortune and happiness to your life. Congratulations!

A Long Interrogation

2005-08-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

Hello friends,

How are you? Me having a mild flu. Gotta say I did hide it pretty well during my interview this morning. Didn't even bring a hankie with me too (oh... i was just forgetful, really). Anyway, the interview (or should I say interrogation) for a job somewhere in KL was a unique experience for me, all and all.

Okay, let me ask you, have you ever been to an interview for your first job where they were VPs of the company interviewing you and at the same time entertaining your belly needs for breakfast and lunch. Good God, I was so full that I felt like I wanted to vomit there and then. huhuhu.... it didn't happen though.

I was also glad to meet some really outstanding people. Talk about competition. They were just superp in their own personality and capabilities. Who said local graduates are no good? All I saw in that boardroom were the cream of the crops. Sometimes I wonder what is so special about overseas graduates that people are looking highly upon us people? hmm... maybe stereotypes.

I am happy with my presentation today and I am hoping for the best outcome. Wish me luck ya!

P/s: To Effy, Fara, Faizal, Izuddin, and Arif, Good Luck to you all too :)

Lalala

2005-08-13T12:57:00.000+08:00

Hello you!

Cannot write much today. I just dont know what to write. Changed my layout a little bit. Not much really. The color Blue quite suits me. hmm :)

Behind Hazed Eyes

2005-08-12T10:40:00.000+08:00

Heloo friends!

uh uh... I spent my half day outside the house today. It is about time, isn't it? hehehe... Early morning I went out to do some errands with my father, then went to eat lunch with my parents (ate some tempoyak lagi, yumm), later sent them to KL Sentral, afterwards went out with my buddy to KLCC. Now I am next to my bed, sitting nicely in my room.

uh uh... Had the best time watching "The Island" movie. All those car stunts were superb. Not forget to mention the very best casting. Sean Bean... uhhhh.... Ewan McGregor.... nice..... Scarlett Johansson... yummy.... and that Djimon Hounsou.... grrr.... I have to admit that I was watching till the edge of my seat. (oh.. a complaint: my seat, theater 9 K10 has no cup holder. Don't sit there!) Well, the story was quite simple, but the direction of the movie was very interesting. Adding the special effects and all, it made me missed the US even more. gosh... I recommend you to see the film your self. Bang your head to the floor if you don't like it.

So, how you guys have been? I am quite stressed out, but not too shabby. Although, health is not perfect 100% as the thick haze outside and inside the house is making my eyes hazed too. And I think I'm getting a sinus problem too. Can't stop sneezing at times.

Oh... to Bloomingtonians... don't spent too much time in the sun. Heard that people are getting sick from the heat. Be well ok.

Hope to meet some friends tomorrow... maybe at lunch...

Tak larat dah

2005-08-10T17:01:00.000+08:00

This morning....
"Wake up Ina! Apa la kamu ni, asyik tido aje. Cuba lah buat kerja ke..... blah blah blah..."
My reaction: *sigh...*

This afternoon....
"Where is your handphone. You should bring your handphone everywhere. Don't just leave it at home. No use."
My reaction: *sigh... ... ...*

Now....
"What are you wearing? I ashamed to see you walking out there looking like that. Maybe somebody I know noticed you."
My reaction: Cannot be explained. But I still give another long *sigh... ... ... ... ... ... ...*

Untitled

2005-08-07T10:52:00.000+08:00

hello kawan-kawan..

My streamyx has been "kong" since two weeks ago. Missed a lot of news.

Did you get to catch Akademi Fantasia Final last night? uh... for the first time ever, I AFUNDI my favourite student who was Amylea. There goes my 65 cents.. heheh... Anyway, quite understandably that Mawi was going to get EVERYTHING. I am a Javanese too but I don't fuss about his being. But I was happy for Mawi. Good for him to get the first place, knowing that he comes from a good family. To see his parents on stage, I knew they were proud of him. gosh... i become mushhy now. He was right, "rezeki" is in the hands of God.

Okaylah... Got some browsing to do. Be good ya!

Opps I did it again

2005-07-27T22:11:00.000+08:00

Heloo again...

Sorry for the lack of updates. Lately, I have no mood to write. I stayed home all day doing absolutely nothing (played some video games actually...) and hanging in my room waiting for anybody to call my cell. uh... unemployment sucks!

hmm.. oh yeah, went to Alor Setar last weekend. I decided to drive after nobody said anything about finding a mean of trasportation to go to my Bloomington's friend wedding in Alor Setar. Had to do some negotiations blah blah blah... Oh well, too much harm was done. Tak guna cerita banyak. Anyway, the trip was as expected. Laju and fun!!! hehehe...

The last time I remembered any part of Alor Setar was just the highway to the North. My favourite stop of all time is the Perhentian R&R Tapah. Nothing much is special here except for the Jambu air madu. Sedaapppp... If you got extra change, you can get a $10 ice-cream from Baskin Robbin. But I opt for the $1 jambu instead.

The trip to Alor Setar was about 5 1/2 hours. We stayed at Seri Malaysia. Low budget hotel. Not recommended to anyone unless if your pocket "bocor". Innocently I thought Alor Setar is a bigger city than what I imagined. I was wrong. I think the whole city center is as big as Kepong. gosh... Anyway, better not to have traffic when you are travelling, right?

I loved the Zahir Mosque and the many old, istana-like buildings in the city. Too bad I didn't have my camera with me. Surely I can get some good shots with my Canon. I also went to "rumah kelahiran Dr. Mahathir" somewhere near a river, at the southern part of the city. No wonder he became the president, he was academically trained since he was small. It was a wonderful house to visit. On a side note: No offence, but since he came out on the TV bitching about AP, I lost respect for his wisdom. Cakap besar, tak berkias. It seems like Dr M is feeling like he is bigger than anyone else and like everybody in Malaysia owes him something too big to repay. I think he is the kind of man who likes to dominate.

Since I came back on Saturday, I have been doing nothing, except for today. Went to an interview, contacted some prospective employers, got a call from Sheila who wanted me to join ING, and contacted the ING hr personnel asking for a job. huh... what a day ya. Afterwards, went to Midvalley to hang around MPH. Gladly to see Elly (baru je cakap pasal dia ngan Sheila). Kawan-kawan aku ni semua dah keje ni. isk... susah hati.

Don't Forget Me, aaaaa...

2005-07-15T04:34:00.000+08:00

Hello friends,

Time for updates. Not very sure what I am doing currently. Tengah cari kerja but malas nak siapkan surat cover letter. heh...

Memang I perasan this one thing: hujan turun hari-hari since last Sunday.

Nampak sangat I ni takde buat benda. Since my brothers balik ke kampus masing-masing, I've been alone at home. Of course my parents are at home tapi takde la best sangat nak lepak dengan mereka kan. hehe... hmm.. best gak sebenarnya.. dapat dibelanja.

Anyway, I teringin sangat nak pegi Alor Setar for Farahana punya wedding. Tapi takde transportation nak pegi. Orang ramai nak ikot, cuma takde kereta aje. Macam mana ye? Any idea?

So, because I am always bored at home, last Tuesday I decided to follow my parents to the Lake Club. At least boleh pegi library dia kan. And fortunately I picked up an old novel written by Mary Ann Gibbs, entitled "The Amateur Governess". It was published in 1964 in London, England and has a light green cover. The novel was a delight. I hope the Lake Club library has more of her writings.

Ok... till next time, jangan main air hujan... nanti demam.......

Susah rupanya

2005-07-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

For the first time since I got back from the US, I had to attend one of the most tensed interview. huh.... Gotta say I was really 'damaged' mentally afterwards. Crucial mistake I did was saying 'aaaa' too much. gosh....

I heard from my sister that those people at BNM also ask the same type of questions, just to see how well you can be in a stressful situation.

Definitely I do not want to be in that room with those two interviewers again.

Long time no see

2005-07-04T09:34:00.000+08:00

Hello friends,

Today was quite an eventful day. At lunchtime, I decided to join Alumnus from Indiana University Bloomington at KLCC for a small gathering. I have not seen Amy, Zul, Judd, Epul, Noreen, Ticub, and Dita for the longest time. Semua still comel-comel lagi. Sihat je.

Was surprised to see others who are still jollying their time before cari kerja, except for Pitek la kan. Orang tu dah dapat kerja kat LG. Hopefully he likes living in Tanjung Malim. Aiya... orang joli-joli best je. I je ni ha fobia still tak dapat kerja. InsyaAllah tak lama lagi ni.

Yani and Syuhada were there to also met their MRSM Taiping friends. I get to meet Ikram, Pitek, Lynn, Lina, Nik, and Mira (adik Nik) before I had to leave at 4.00pm. We ate Burger King + Kentucky and we survived two heavy rains under a small gazebo in the KLCC park.

Had a blast. Must do more of this thing again ya.

Oh ye, the night before (masa orang tengah sibuk-sibuk tengok Konsert Akademi Fantasia), I went for a gorgeous wedding at Hotel Istana. Actually, not my friend punya wedding. I was there as my sister's date. hehe... The pengacara majlis was so funny. Namanya Encik Zakaria or also known as Mr. Z. The last words from him was "Daun durian sugguh bersih, sekian terima kasih". kih kih... Got to have him as your MC if you want a lively event.

I may go to Alor Setar this July. Ada kenduri kahwin for Farahana and Faris. So, if you wanna kowtim and share transportation to get there, gimme a call. Till later....

Rindu kawan

2005-06-14T21:52:00.000+08:00

Hello,

Sorry for the late update. Been applying to a lot of job and attending a lot of interviews. Hari2 ada interview, keluar pagi balik petang. Gaya macam orang dah kerja. hehe..

Last Monday, went to an interview with Mandarin Oriental KL for their Sales and Marketing dept. Have to say that they lack of sensitivity to Muslim women. No tudung allowed to work there even if you are working in your own office. Gheez... The HR officer there claim that this is well practiced in all 5-stars hotel throughout Malaysia. Their policy are just following the norm, to create a "western" feel to the image. So if you need a job real badly in the Hotelling industry, like many UITM grads are, you have to sacrifice your believe to support your life.

Hmm.. I thought Malaysian companies, in any industry, are capable in accomodating religions to be practiced in their environment. I wonder if they do have a surau in the building for the workers...............

Almost two weeks in KL

2005-06-07T22:13:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

It is almost two weeks since I got back from USA and I think I am fitting in quite nicely in my home and my surroundings. I've driven the left-side of the road (rather than right-side), finding my late night munchies spot (instead of the occasional Denny's or Stake n Shake), and just realized that I got to hang my clothes outside :( (no more dryer).

And I got my streamyx. Yeah! Akhirnya!!! It's going to be a fast lane here, unless if my other siblings is competing with me on this one computer system. uh... where is my desktop when I needed it most?

Oh... wish me luck (again) for my job search. Some people in my house have already drilling me on the question, "Bila nak cari kerja ni?".

Yippee! I'm home.

2005-05-31T08:30:00.000+08:00

Hey you!

I'm finally home, back safe and sound in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Gotta have to say that I already missed Bloomington and the friends I left behind. Gonna miss everything I had.

I arrived in Kuala Lumpur on Wednesday May 25th, after a two week joy ride on the west coast of the United States. Firstly I went to Los Angeles, flew to San Francisco, later drove to Las Vegas, and drove some more to Grand Canyon. Was an awesome journey, a trip that I will never forget.

My wish to have a picture taken at the Grand Canyon with my graduation gown on did come true. hehe... I'll show you the picture later *when I get my streaymix installed*. It was hot but damnnn... the scenery was nice, pretty than what I imagined.

So, since I got back, I've been busy sleeping, catching up with family members, perfected my resume, try finding job, etc. Gosh, it has been hectic. Nowadays I sleep before 10pm. Early huh?

Because I only have 52Kbps connection and it has been a while to upload this thing, I think I'm gonna stop here and will later update when I have a better connection. Anybody need to contact me home, email me so that I can send you my cell number. Till later, selamat makan satay :)

Done with Study

2005-05-06T05:10:00.000+08:00

I'M DONE!

I feel really happy and sad at this moment.

Too surreal to understand it.

Little that I know

2005-05-03T11:33:00.000+08:00

I had my first exam today. It suddenly hits me, three more days to go.

Lately I have been having flashbacks from my yester years. How fun it was to be as carefree when I was a freshmen, how serious I was as a sophomore, and how independent I had become in my junior year. Now, it has come to this. The senior year...

I have to say this last year has been a very challenging one. First the depression, then the expectations. uh..... what a crazy year it has been. Luckily I stepped up and took matters into my own hands and I made up my mind to get a change. err..... no physical change (except the hair), but more of changing my inner self. I want to claim a total independence from my surroundings and be absolutely free to do whatever I wish for. I know this is easy said than done. But I promise I'll do my best, my very best.

On one other note, I think my sales skill has climbed up a notch, or maybe two. Sold my car just a hundred dollar shy from the advertised price. Nicely done, I should say. Trying to get people pay higher than they actually wanted and get them excited about the purchase at the same time need a lot of courage and determination from the seller's point of view. Naturally, I had to push those prospective buyers to get them to the right price without giving up too much leniency away. I can be soft sometimes, but for money, I'll do anything.

What will I do with the money? I think I will put down as a downpayment for my second car, a new car that is. ahhhhhh...... I really feel happy when I have lotsa money. "Money money money.... MONEY!" <-- sounds like the Apprentice theme.

Okay people. Just so you know, I will have to shut down my computer for a while after this Thursday coz I want to ship my precious computer home to Malaysia. Unless I want to drag my ass down to the computer lab, my blog may (or may not) stops here for a while till I get settled down in KL.

To all seniors, Good Luck in your exams and also Good Luck in your job search. Whoever decided to get hitched, make sure you ask me to go to your big pretty lovely event or I'll whop your ass before your significant other get a chance to (okay I'm kidding about the whopping thing).

Lastly, BE PROUD AS A GRADUATE! You've done it and you deserved it. Don't ever forget to thank the people who helped and supported you all the way to the pinnacle of achievement. Especially to the Malaysian people who has given you the chance to do so. Give back to the community. Send back the benefits of your education to the people.

Enough me talking..... Be good y'all.

The last week, the last exams

2005-05-01T00:10:00.000+08:00

Okay okay... It is the last week of college. Last week of school, of course. And also last weekend to study.

My line up:

Monday 8am-10am>
Chinese Ethical Thought Essay Exam

Wednesday before 12pm>
Final Individual Memo from a HP "big fat" case

Thursday 2pm-4pm>
Marketing Strategy Cumulative Exam

Three exam "kacang"? hah... I wish............

Wanna take the finals for me? I'll pay you....

Sad few last weeks

2005-04-22T03:47:00.000+08:00

Graduation just around the corner. If I'm not mistaken, it is 17 days till the grand ceremony. Unfortunately, I still have to endure the rigorious studying and thinking and writing and memorize stuff on my last week of school. To be exact, I have two exams to study for (essay finals) and two final cases to write which carries huge percentage to my final grade. Bitch!

Oh.... ok.... I'm not in a good mood.

Yesterday was supposed to be my last day of work at the Overseas Study office. Anyway, I suggested to work for this Friday to gain some last minute moneyssss... What happened yesterday was my employers, Susan and Rosie, made their formal farewell to me with a card signed by everybody in the office and a special token which made me so crazy about. uh.... I really felt appreciated in that office. I thought my days were not important enough that people would just ignore my existance. ahhh.... nope, my presence were rejoiced and I felt very good about it. I'm really gonna miss them all. Thanks to everybody in the Overseas Study!

So now I cannot stop thinking about finishing school. The most important thing is to make my presence at the school memorable with a touch of uniqeness. oh hell... how am I going to do that huh? I'm not making a humiliating scene, if that is what you are going to suggest. ah... oh well... whatever... 17 days to go... dum dum dumm dadaaaaaaaaa

Mystery Exposed

2005-04-15T15:57:00.000+08:00

Just uncovered the story behind the picture on Google.
15 April 1452 was Leonardo Da Vinci's birth date.
That was 553 years ago. The genius was born.

The Temperature and The Love for Dan Brown

2005-04-15T12:27:00.000+08:00

The past few days has been very hot and sweaty... The warm weather has taken its toll on me. The central heater which was still on wasn't helping either. Some nights ago, I had to drag my ass up from an unnerving sleep and head to the shower to cool off.

Finally today, the cooler is on. huh... now my apartment is too cold to live in. brrrr... I used to be imitating a polar bear living inside a very cold cave. When there were no central heating/cooling, I blasted my air conditioner on and stayed inside the room feeling comfy, despite what my roommie commented on how cold it was in my room as to the sunny beach like weather in hers. Yeah, I was a cold queen.

However today, I don't think I can stand the cool air infiltrating my tiny room anymore. The termometer in my room currently suggesting the temperature is 67 ferenheit. It is cool.

Oh... by the way, I just finished a novel by Dan Brown entitled "The Da Vinci Code" which was awesome to the top! I have not read any thriller since my teenage years. So this novel has given me a surge of pleasure from the suspense and action. Have to say that I no longer see the world the same again.

The thing is my interest does lie in the discussion of religion, which explains a lot why I've done a minor in religious studies. I think the history was written from a one-sided view. Thus, for hundreds years, our teachers have taught us to take history as it is. To me, this is wrong and we should have been given the opportunity to debate on the things we've learned, not to take anything for granted.

One simplistic example of how a story can be one-sided is illustrated as follows. Let's say there was an accident between a car and a motorcycle *a minor one, nobody should be killed in my story*. And let's say the car driver was a very old "important" person who you would be surprised to see driving in his late stage of age. And let's say the motorcycle driver is a young man who has never gotten into an accident in his 15 years of driving, not even a ticket. Both are exceptionally honest people. So they colided... and you as a police officer came and try to get the stories from both drivers. Unsurprisingly, one driver told his story such as A and the other told his story such as F, blaming the other driver for being unlawful and careless on the road. Since there were no other eyewitness on the scene, there was no telling who was right.

The general truth is, both stories are deemed right. heck... who else can tell what happened except for these drivers. In addition, they are good honest people. But as a police officer who has to write a report on this, you have to find out which story is the truth. In this situation, who would you trust? Who do you think has more merit and credibility to tell the story?

Like I said previously, both stories are indeed the truth because they came from the mouth of the honest witnesses with their own eyes and ears. People do see things from different angles. So this is not making your work any easier right? The story telling now is in your hands. You are the historian who will write on a piece of paper of what had happened and other people will learned the accident story from you and only you, not from the two people who were involved in it.

Thus here is my very point. The real truth may not be uncovered because the very first problem is with you. You cannot decide which story was the truth so you acted to tell it your own way with the assumption as you understood from the witnessess for your written report. The story has now lost its credibility because you did not record the original word first hand. At the end, you are the one who fabricated the whole story and other people who read your report would believe what you wrote as the real truth (the one-sided story). deng...

What ever it is, we should continuously pursuing and uncovering the truth, however confusing it is. My advise is don't stop searching for the answer. You might not know every truth, but at least you are not blinded by what is in front of you. Be brave. Be radical even. If you believe in your cause, I am sure some super power out there will be guiding you all the way.

Oh one more thing, it is kinda chilly to know that Google today had this logo on their website as I finished the novel. Coincidence or is it a sign?

Baik dah...

2005-04-13T14:10:00.000+08:00

Eventually, life is well. No more cold... still ada batuk-batuk sikit. Alhamdullillah... I thought my cold would never go away.

Recently, I watched a movie entitled "80 days around the world". This movie has been very inspiring to me because the message of the story is "Be rich, do crazy thing with your money, buy some friends, foya-foya, visit exotic places, learn kungfu, and lastly prove to your oppressor that he or she is guilty of all charges". haha. Can Disney movie serves this type of story, or am I just wrong?

Nevetheless, I think if you have a lot of money, you should spend it well. By spending well, I don't mean that you should give it away to charity. NO! *i have some issues with charity* Instead, the money should be spent on nurturing your inner desires, which can make you less worry about life or the dangers of it and be personally happy and joyful of life.

Maybe my philosophy on money is unheard of. But I am sure some people out there would agree with me.

I do think the ultimate happiness comes with a lot of money. I have not met anybody who says "I don't need money and I am happy without it". Having, or not having money, is always an issue to us. "Do I have enough money for tomorrow?" When people don't have money, they will have to work *which not many people enjoy doing*, or probably ask somebody for it *which can be humiliating to some degree if you are actually capable of working*. If you don't have money, you cannot do the things that matters to you. heck, you can't even eat or drink without begging.

The truth is you need money to bring happiness to your life. With money, you can do some impossible things. With money, you enjoy your life a bit more. Money money money... Gotta love them.

New me

2005-04-11T08:07:00.000+08:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my blog layout. And I've decided to change it into something that is more personal. That's me on the left *i wish*. I'm gonna leave my student life in about 27 days and going into the real world, the world that I have not known just yet. This is one of my much needed makeovers. Hope you are pleased coz I've been loving the new layout.

Watch out. LinaSashay is coming to you soon!

Need a rest

2005-04-09T14:44:00.000+08:00

I'm officially sick. I have a major cold and my sneezes are affecting my heart + ribs + lungs.

Scouring back to the things I've done in the past few days, I think it was the rain on Thusday morning that made me this sick. Well done Ina.... Remember to use your umbrella when it's raining, no matter if it's just a mist or a downpour.

So people, you won't be seeing me much for a couple of days. My body is aching all over. Had some pills, but it's not working. I'll be on my bed all day tomorrow. What a waste of a nice Spring weather. It's really hot and sunny outside. Unfortunately, I have to be inside so that my germs would not be everywhere.

Oh God, I just sneeze. Uh.... My chest is really hurting....

Hope to get the cold out of my system soon.

Now? yes.... Forever? no....

2005-04-06T13:39:00.000+08:00

Forgive me for not writing for such a long time. My mind has been somewhere else.

Last weekend I went to Indianapolis (maybe for the second last time... yikes!). Pretty much the time spent there was awesome. Get to meet Cik Sarimah of which I have not seen for a year, I think. geezzz.... lama tuh.... Effy, Nik, Sarimah, and me went jalan-jalan at Circle Center and you can imagine how giddy we all went to shop. hehehe..... I actually do not have that much passion in shopping, but once the switch turned on, I cannot stop myself.

Total money spent in two days: USD 170++

Since I visited Fifi and Fairuz's abode last Friday, I slowly sucked into Dance Revolution video game mania by the Tulip Tree girls including la by Afriza Hani ni.... At first, segan la kan nak dancing in front of those girls. But when I get to try it on my own, I think I went overboard with it. hahaha.... lebih-lebih pulak. Now I am addicted.

While watching these girls busting their moves, I scanned each faces. Everybody has twinkling eyes, smiles on their faces, joyful voices...... Everyone was happy.... That was a good thing. Good thing indeed. I am blessed to be among high spirited people. You all made my day.

Later that night, I watched some parts of Siti's concert from 2004, then some AF2 episodes, and a funny video clip from Indonesia which reminds me of Ferry Kristianto's (Mr. Asia 2005 Of Indonesia) performance during the MMA competition. Let's just say I miss my home country.

Until next time..... Selamat malam.

GMAIL is 1 year old already :)

2005-04-01T22:00:00.000+08:00

I read this message on gmail front this morning. Happy Birthday gmail!!!

*

A Google approach to math.

On the eve of Gmail's one-year birthday, our engineers were toiling away furiously. Notes scribbled all over the walls. Complex calculations on napkins and empty pizza boxes. Millions of M&Ms.

The result?... starting today, we're beginning the roll-out of our new and top secret Infinity+1 storage plan. The key features are:

Write, don't worry.
You want to stop caring about storage. We want to keep giving you more. Today, and beyond.

The gift that keeps on giving.
1334.633926 megabytes of storage (and counting) for every user.

No complicated equations. No tough algorithms.
Just this one graph:

Gmail turns 1 today. And we've always loved a good joke. We know we won't reach infinity, but check out what we will do

Cannot get my head straight

2005-03-31T11:34:00.000+08:00

Crazy when I think of what's going to happen one month from now. I think I heard giggles from inside. Better be good.

First day as Enrollment Assistant (again..)

2005-03-25T03:56:00.000+08:00

Today marks the second time I work for the Registrar Office. Long and beyond, I really like this job, than my others. It's not just because I can have a lot done while working, but because the people who work here are very easy to talk to and happy-go-lucky.

So to Bloomingtonians, if you want to find a part-time job on campus, try to be on a look out for a position opening here. The pay is good and you get to be relaxed while working. Only that you may get your butt really worked out by sitting for hours. That's what most office people already do, right?

Smelly melly

2005-03-22T04:44:00.000+08:00

I smell like ass. hm... ash I think is more like it.

One unforgetable day.

I was home. Looking into my computer. Suddenly I smell burning smoke. I got up and found the source.

It was all because of fish balls. They better taste nice, Effy!

Have you heard about renters insurance? I have not. There goes your money, KACHING!

Spring Break Updates

2005-03-17T03:05:00.000+08:00

Hey there!

This Spring Break has been such a fun time! The last two nights were just filled with socializing, games, late night munchies, and laughter. I felt happy again... cured and revived.

Last Saturday, I played bowling with Bloomingtonians and Bird from Purdue. Was an awesome game. hahaha... funny that I get to "kacau" Yani and Bird. They are truly one fine couple. After the game, we headed to Denny's, and Bird showed us his magic trick, making the coin and salt shaker dissappear. That was cool.

On Monday and Tuesday, I played bowling with Bloomingtonians again. 2 nights in a row of fun bowling. Geez.... But it was a good thing that we paid only $4 for each nights playing 3 games. Cannot complain the $1 per game deal. I get to meet Lynn of Indianapolis who I have not seen for quite some time. I think the last time I saw her was on her graduation party. Miss her so much. At last we get to hug each other :)

Last night was just another superb night out. After the late night munchies at Steak & Shake, I went back to Tulip Tree to pay a visit to 501 and 318. Nik and Vicky kindly invited me to play Mario game (one of the new series) at 318, with Ajeb and Imran. Once I get there, we started out watching Without A Paddle, starring Seth Green, Matthew Lirrard, and the MTV Punk! guy, Dax Sheppard. It was a hillarious movie. But it was funnier to see Ajeb, who was half pass asleep during the movie, suddenly woke up in the middle of the story when two chicks appeared on screen. hahaha... damn funny!

After the movie, everybody started to show their talents for the Mario game. Because we played it on Game Cube, there were four players at a time you see. So, there goes the fueled adrenaline. At first I don't feel like playing coz I didn't know how to. Seemed that Imran, Ajeb, Nik, and Vicky were total pros. They almost known all the Mario race tracks so well. I cannot overplayed them all, right? Wrong! hahaha... The game was so "loser" friendly that anybody could just take up the game and win eventually. hahaha... I was really a bad player, but it turned out that I won a couple of races among the pros. By the end of the night (or should I say, early morning), all of us played a total of 50 something games. My thumbs felt burned out. Thank God I still have my prints.

Start packing!

2005-03-11T15:09:00.000+08:00

I've been putting on hold pretty much everything. Not ready to come back home yet. Do you know anybody who would want to buy my car?

I remember somebody

2005-03-09T13:05:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep...

I suddenly remember this one guy. I think I met him sometime in 2001. He is one nice guy. He is fair, tall... always smiling... And I like him for being serious in his studies and being courteous to his female acquitances. He is dependable, strong will, ambitious, polite, a great gentleman I should say, and generally a good guy, inside and out.

I sometimes wonder if he is the one who got away. Anyway, that can't be the case because we didn't really date. We hang out on occasions. He bought me dinner one time. good god... I must have had a BIG crush on him. I still have the same crush towards this guy even now.

Unfortunately, he is too skinny for me.

I wonder where he is right now. What has he been doing for all these years... Have he lead a successful life and found somebody special? Have he thought about me at all? Does he remember me?

I miss him.

I still have his email address with me. It's too awkward to email him so sudden. I don't even know how to say hi to him... what to ask, what to say... I've already lost so many memories of him.

I hope he does remember me still. At least the best memory we had. Those fun laughter moments. I wish the best for his life, career, and future. I hope I'll meet him someday, coincidently of course. May the best gets us both.

Boo-hoo

2005-03-09T13:00:00.000+08:00

Miss me??

Okay, I have to admit... I have not been writing some new stuff nowdays. Same 'ol, same 'ol.

Right now I'm having that same feeling again... the feeling of loneliness. Truthfully, I don't know why and how I have had this feeling for such a long time. Given that my life already sucks, what a better meltdown other than feeling deserted right? uh... I hate this feeling!

Have you ever think once in a while "when was the last time I felt happy?". I think I've lost it. I've lost joy. Worse, I am longing so hard for it. goodness..... I need rescuing!

It can become dangerous when I'm too long in this road-block. Everyday I thought I'm going to loose my mind, loose my conciousness, loose my discipline. Depression ponder every inch of my being. I hate it when I'm all alone in all these. I hate it! I hate it!

I'm breaking in half.

Computer trouble

2005-03-09T11:49:00.000+08:00

F**K!

My computer is damn slow since I click that stupid link. Now I have a lot of spyware and pop-up stuff that you really don't want for the low memory capability my pc has. Dammit!

I wish I have a time machine to go back....

2005-03-05T04:44:00.000+08:00

03/04/05

March 4th, 2005

This Ballare song has a significance to my most memorable moment.

I hope you enjoyed it like I do.

Romancing Your Life

2005-03-04T03:49:00.000+08:00

Last night I watched three movies on DVD. To be precise, I watched three romance movies. Okay okay... you might say, "All women likes romance movies, so who cares what you want to say". Whatever.................

When it comes to the topic of real life romance, I'm nobody. No specific relationship to point out, none worthwhile to say about. However, I am passionate about the idea of romancing.

Oh..... I truly feel people lost out if they don't get to be trapped in a romance web. What can be a more passionate act of feelings than showing your fervid heart for another? *i wanted to use bosom for this sentence instead of heart, but it feels not right. Right usage, but not gonna have the same meaning to some of you, non-literature readers* At this point, you might want to just disagree with my statement, but really.... don't you have any fascination or lurking taste for romance, for at least once in your lifetime?

Before I go any further, if you must know, romancing means "to entertain romantic thoughts or ideas".

I'm not sure if the connotation of romance and love need to be distinguished. But it is congruous to tell upon of those who loved, not all of them be of those who romanced. Catch my drift? In a simpler meaning, not everybody can be a romantic.

So, where does a woman like me do when she needs romancing? I opt for watching a romance movie (the older the time period, the better) or reading a sultry novel, for now at least...

May I get to realize a fiery romantic relationship before I die. Amen.

What's your long term plan?

2005-02-27T14:30:00.000+08:00

Tough question... but I think I have an answer to that.

I have many goals that I wish to achieve. I wish I could be the first person in the world to visit all the countries in the world, all 195 of them. I wish I can invent something. I wish I could talk in 8 different languages. I wish I could build a multi-national company. I wish I could save the world with my intelligence. But hey, all of them doesn't sound reacheable for one person to do it all in one lifetime, you think? You know what? I think I can somehow accomplish them all in my lifetime.

You want to hear my plan? Keep an open mind ok :)

With a great investment, I will open a publication company. I will have hundreds of most influential writers under my management. From academia to those who writes a bunch of witty crap. When I become a renowned publisher, I will get my books be known for a much wider readers, not just within the country, but internationally. My books will reach every country in the world, either by selling them or by giving them away. I will make sure a copy is in every library in every country. I'll put my name on them, I hope my name would get to all the 195 countries. I will make sure I will be in every one of them.

If everything goes well, I want to invent a network of a group of people from all 195 countries in one communication system. These people will be the very person who will work hard to get me to open more companies in their respective countries, publications or anything that will benefit the local people. What else is a better way to create jobs and giving opportunity to capable partners. I will not only have one company, but many of which will flourish in their own strategy.

When I have many loyal readers, I will make sure my books will be translated into at least 8 languages. If I become a writer someday, I wish my book will be the book that is translated in the 8 languages. I want to become known as one of the most influential people of the 21st century. My work will be of knowledge, a book that could teach someone something that they would think upon and practice with. I hope my book will liberate people and give a positive change to the world. If I as a person physically cannot save the world, maybe my words can.

So there.... That is my plan. Do you think it is a good plan?

A good friend story

2005-02-27T13:41:00.000+08:00

It's really nice to get to talk with a good friend. Usually it started with a simple 'hi', and if you are fortunate, the conversation will continue to something really liberating.

I had this friend who I really looked up to. She is probably the only person I know who has all the things in a good friend. From her astounding character to her remarkable writings, I love and respect her for who she is. I don't know about you, but have you ever met somebody who shines through you and it feels as if he or she almost touches your spirit? You are lucky if you know that special person, the person who you can rely on when you are either in good or bad shape. This friend of mine is the person who I would trust my child with if I'm gone forever. She is the one I would sacrifice for. I saw goodness in her, the truth.... I wish you can see her the same way as I did. She is my treasure.

Dear friend, I wish you know how much I appreciate you. I may be not a good friend to you, but you have always been a good friend to me. You made me realize there are other things in life more important than money and power. I am truly greatful to have found you. May life prosper onto you. I only hope you will acheive what you want in life and be happy. Thank you for being my good friend.

Who is your favourite writer?

2005-02-18T07:46:00.000+08:00

This is the second time I spend many hours in the library. To be specific, I was in the Kent Cooper room the whole time. Yeah, I watched movies.

Jane Austen is really a few favourite people of mine that I would like to know more about. After seeing her works made into movies and dramas, I can't excape her passion of wonderful female characters battling out the expectations of society. She facinates me about life at her time and to really know more about her personally.

hmm.... i'm out to dinner... to be continued.......................

Naughty librarian

2005-02-16T05:59:00.000+08:00

Believe it or not, today is the first day I spend a whole lot of time at the library this semester. Main Library seems less gloomy than the last time I was here. The University put a lot of work with light fixtures, adding computers, more help onsite, and another proposal to make the library more usable and high tech. I heard some weeks ago that the University is trying to design an underground space. How cool is that!

The very purpose I come to the library today is to study. Since I am here, I watched a movie, didn't really read any books :) heheh... Oh yeah, I watched Spellbound, a documentary about American kids who are on the road to win the National Spelling Bee championship in 1999. It was a really stressful documentary. It is already about 20 minutes since I watched it, and I am still feeling 'sick' from it. uhhh.... I can't handle pressure like those kids did.

It's the sixth week of the semester and I am still kicking, well alive. I am also in the mood of listening to R&B musics. Ashanti, Mario, and Usher are making me feeling very, how should I put this, goddess like? hahahaha.... please don't try to imagine how that feels like.

The weather today turns out quite well. It's a warm February. Leave your winter coat inside and go jogging or something.

2005-02-15T08:13:00.000+08:00

You like the ones that understand you.

What kind of guy are you most attracted to? (CUTE anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Usher

2005-02-12T15:16:00.000+08:00

hmm... I'm 'caught up'. Will there be an Usher in Malaysia soon?

Meeting people

2005-02-11T12:56:00.000+08:00

Okay... I'm officially bored. As soon as I got back from class today, I went straight to chatting. I finally found a place to chat other than the MIRC, thank God! I guess I needed attention.

There are some interesting people I met via the chat room. From Malaysian, to Arabs, to Somalian, to many more.... hahahaha... some are just looking for "entertainment" *geez when will they learn that everything is not about sex* but luckily for me, I met incredible and uplifting people who are surprisingly Malaysian.

It's funny when you meet chatters who knows somebody who you know. Yeah, I think it happens a lot in real life too. It didn't come to me that frequent really... So, we talk about things and plans for the future and about ourselves.... I starting to think that there are some worthwhile people out there who likes chatting like me. Even though it seems like not really a good idea to spawn any type of relationship over chatting partners, I feel quite safe to actually be honest and sometimes be vulnerable to the other person.

I'm still bored, but I like today... It's Thursday and I get to watch ER. hmm.... where is my doctor?

89 days to go

2005-02-09T12:22:00.000+08:00

Yup... 89 days to go. I'm not ready... I'm not ready...

WhoAmI?

2005-02-09T02:03:00.000+08:00

R	Rare
U	Useful
Z	Zippy
L	Loud
I	Innocent
N	Nice
A	Awesome

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

2005-02-09T00:49:00.000+08:00

you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

NIghtmares

2005-02-09T00:26:00.000+08:00

It has been a while. How are you guys?

I'm totally not organized for the past 4 weeks. I've been really lazy and putting things last minutes. I finally did my laundry that has been long overdue. One more cycle to go and I am done. And I really need a makeover for my room and for myself. Room is a total mess and I am in bad shape, physically and mentally. hah... said it! Yes, it is true, I'm in a low down.

I've not getting enough sleep on Sunday night. So I slept from 8:30pm on Monday till 10:30am this morning. Yep, 14 hours. I was tired... And then the nightmare came. uhhhh... what a nightmare it was. No ghost, no monster. It was me and a couple of people I don't know. Scary eh when the nightmares involve the things that are real in life and you thought this will happen to me next. uh... mind can do tricks on you.

The dream starts with good and lovely things, the things that I want in life. Then the finale came with a bang! The nightmare knew when and how to jump in. And things start to meltdown from there. All the good things turned to bad, and sometimes worse. I woke up just before it turned out crazy. Yeah, I feel upset till now. I wonder if this dream and nightmare will come some day, coz I know some of my memorable dreams which are good and bad did come true. In this case, I hope not. No no no no no.... please God no...

The right path

2005-01-29T14:51:00.000+08:00

When I was young, I never had anyone teach me about the other religions. Only until I found myself stepping into college life I started to continually ask questions about my belief and what others perceive the kind of believer I am. Maybe you and I have the same upbringing where you ought to believe to only one thing and to never question. It is really oblivious for any concious human being to not question "where do I come from? why was I created? what is my purpose?". Nevertheless, I question myself over and over again and try to get the right mindset that could calm my craving for answers.

It really started when I was 14. When you are that young, you are quickly influenced by your surrounding and you follow your elders and your peers. Who are you to say I don't want to do what you all have been doing? I follow and obey every step of the way. There were no resistant. I live my life as people have taught me. But then came one day when everything changes. Something happened that day. I was not sure what, but it surely lift the way I view things, how I view life. I don't think this blog is the right place to write what happened next and the things that has been happening all the way leading to this day. To tell you the truth, I am not even sure if the disclosure I got make any sense at all. It may be a gift, or it may be a curse. I hope it is not the latter.

What would you do if you are given a sight? The sort of sight that is unexplainable and only you could understand it. Would you use it, or would you just let it dry eventually?

2005-01-24T14:24:00.000+08:00

busy busy busy.

2005-01-19T00:45:00.000+08:00

You Are 24 Years Old

24

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Lepak

2005-01-15T14:18:00.000+08:00

The first week of school just ended. It feels weird...

Anyway, this weekend is going to be long. It's MLK day on Monday and I'll be lepaking till Tuesday afternoon. Cool heh... If only the last vacation has not been so recent... I'm probably somewhere in Mexico having a casual nice weekend. hahaha.. yeah right!

I realize somehow that I have creative hands. I think I did some marvelous job on a girl's hair tonight. The curls looks just right and personally I think she looks a little bit like JLo with her hair like that. hahaha... I should have been a hair stylist or maybe an image consultant for someone. Too bad I have a brilliant brain which I had to use it up on books (hmm... having an intelligent brain is not so bad really, look where I am now... not too shabby). With imagination and additional skills, I may become one hell of a stylist. Have I told you that I always wanted to be a chef? haha... funny right? I wanted to go to cooking school and become a famous chef. But nobody gets me at the time. They say I am too good to be a chef and they pushed me to become a business woman instead.

I wonder what would have happened to me if I have taken the other path. Where would I be right now? Any thoughts?

Rush hour.

2005-01-11T11:15:00.000+08:00

This is one of the best first day of school for me. I woke up early and get to my classes on time, yay! r300 was not so bad... m407 seemed kinda confusing, but rather easy looking... and my job as a temp covering for the Communication Coordinator for the Overseas Study Office was awesome.

I can't help but feel as if I was very important in my temping job. It pays me a lot too, so I am happy. I was introduced to everybody and everybody seemed happy to be having me. yeay! I can't thank enough for having the luck to secure this job in my last semester of my study. I know it has nothing to do with business, however, it is an office job and I'm sure I will learn about office politics soon enough. The Director wasn't looking very keen on me, probably because I'm just a temp instead of a full time worker. I don't care much about her feelings towards me because I know I won't be communicating with her for my type of work at all. I'm keeping myself safe from every dangerous eyes especially hers. uuuuuu.... scary.....

So, the semester has begun and I hope this will be the best semester for me. I am hoping for the best. Good luck to you all and enjoy your college life to the fullest!